My husband makes me tea in the morning, walks the pups when I need to sleep in, and cooks up some of the most delicious meals that would rival a five-star restaurant. I’m a lucky girl.

Most of my friends think I’ve got magical powers, others swear I must be practicing witchcraft of some sort because my husband rocks!

I often get asked, “How did you do that?,” “What’s your secret?,” and even “Did you train him or did he just come that way?”

I never snuck love potion in his coffee. I don’t nag. I didn’t train him like a puppy dog.

When my husband does something thoughtful and caring, I am sure to go the extra mile to let him know how awesome he is. My praise not only shows him that I genuinely appreciate his efforts, but it also ensures that he’ll do it again.

For example, when it comes to laundry, my husband is the best in the land. He separates colors, folds like a department store, and even hangs my undergarments to dry. Seriously?! Yup.

Besides the fact that I suck at nearly all things domestic, he puts tender loving care into every task. As a result, I’m incredibly tender and loving (if you catch my drift) in return and therefore rarely wait more than a day for my yoga pants to arrive clean and folded.

Witchcraft? Nah.

Magical Goddess? Quite possibly.

While it takes two to tango, here are my insider secrets to getting the best from your partner:

1. Give to Get

I never take my husbands helpfulness for granted. I always keep his favorite gourmet coffee (and beer) on hand, and surprise him with loving shoulder rubs. Before expecting him to roll up the sleeves and get to work, I give first.

I do so happily and willingly, it makes me feel great and he feels even better because his needs are taken care of in a way that he knows he is the most special person to me.

2. Give More

What are the top three ways your hubby likes to spend his time? For my guy it’s surfing, hiking, and biking. I make sure that I give him the time he needs to refill his cup.

Think about it, when you come back from yoga, aren’t you in a better mood and more productive? Even if it means rearranging plans, I do my best to make sure that if the waves are pumping, my guy is in the water. Remember how you feel when you get the time you need to recharge and rejuvenate? Your partner needs it too.

3. Give Again

Praise, praise, praise, then praise some more. Showing your partner that you appreciate how thoughtful, kind, and amazing he is will go a looonnng way. If you’ve been dying for your guy to take over the grocery shopping, ask him to pick up some apples on the way home from work. When he gets home, be sure to shower him with thanks and praise. Want to guarantee he’ll pick up apples any time without grumbling? Make him an apple pie. Showing him appreciation and a delicious treat to reap the reward for his efforts goes a long way. Continue to work your magic and he’ll be lending a hand in no time.

When it comes to love, partnership, and reciprocity, the golden rule will always prevail. Treat him the way you want to be treated and I promise your friends will be asking, “How did you do that?”

Author

Bailey Frumen, MSW, LCSW is a psychotherapist and lifestyle design coach. She helps ambitious women accomplish more in less time. Her approach is simple. Being owned by a checklist is not the way. Instead we work together to redesign your life on your own terms. She’s gone from stressed out to savouring her life. As a Lifestyle Design Coach and licensed therapist, she helps you do more of what you love. You’re only a few shifts away from peace. Follow Bailey’s work. Connect with her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.

1 Comment

  1. Heather Novak, M.S. Reply

    Amazingly simple, yet brilliant! Thanks for your secrets, Bailey!!

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