Last night I had a few wines. It doesn’t happen often. No big deal, right?
Except for the fact that last night my Little Miss placed an itty bitty toothy peg under her pillow, waiting for a certain fairy to spread her magical wings and deliver a shiny coin.
Three guesses who forgot to show up. Yep. My daughter’s tooth fairy sucks.
But, in my defense, being a mum during the day and a flying fairy at night is tough work. Kids have – and eventually lose – 20 teeth (yes, I googled it). I have three kids which means I have 60 BLOODY TEETH to collect, swap for cash and then hide somewhere safe (science says we should be keeping baby teeth) so they don’t see the evidence.
Ain’t no mumma gonna remember to transform into the tooth fairy 60 DIFFERENT TIMES. Well, this mumma isn’t going to at least.
How to make things right when the tooth fairy doesn’t come
As it turns out, I’m not the only mum who sucks. Heaps of other parents admit that, when it comes to tooth fairy duties, they often come up short. So what can you do to salvage this situation? Write a letter, of course! Because words are so much better than money. Said no kid ever.
But hey, at least it keeps the magic alive and gives you another chance to get it right tonight.
So the next time the tooth fairy forgets to come, reach for the pencil and pad and take a page out of these clever parents’ tooth fairy excuses book.
Fairies are allergic to the sun
They also have trouble in the dark.
And clearly they don’t use a GPS system either.
They cannot work in messy conditions.
Or when they are on their period.
“Period or no period, I am upset!” HILARIOUS.
They also refuse to work on public holidays.
Tooth Fairy rights are incredibly important you know.
Tooth fairies are notorious for overbudgeting.
And placing the money in the wrong area.
And, of course, tooth fairies also get very tired wings.
The job is straining after all.
Death by delivery
In fact, sometimes it becomes too much for a tooth fairy and they are met with a tragic end, like this poor child’s tooth fairy.
What a way to scar your child for life.
Even more tooth fairy excuses
Of course, there are plenty more perfect excuses, delivered by imperfect parents. When in doubt, any of these tooth fairy excuses will do the trick too. Because there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to need to use more than one excuse… 20 teeth per kid, remember??!!
- It was raining and her wing was hit by a raindrop. She had to go home to let it dry.
- She ran out of ‘fairy dust’ and couldn’t fly.
- The tooth was simply too special to take.
- She heard you waking up and had to leave before you saw her.
- She got chased by a dog/cat.
- Her tooth fairy bag was too full of teeth and she had to go home to empty it.
- She asked her brother to do it, but he forgot.
- She was in a meeting with Santa and it ran late.
- There was a tooth fairy emergency she had to take care of at the head office.
- The tooth fairy found mum’s wine and got distracted.
Okay, maybe don’t go with this last one.
But, hopefully, you will have enough excuses to last you the rest of your tooth fairy career. Make sure you share any other quick-thinking’ tooth fairy excuses you’ve used on your kids. The more we have, the better chance we have of making it through this tooth fairy business without being discovered.
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