11 utterly useless first words from my third child

With first children, mum and dad are the main influencers. So, as is usually the case, our first child learnt useful first words: mum, dad, please, ta, up, cup, bath and so on.

Fast forward to child number 3. With two older siblings, we’ve had a lot less influence. Which has become obvious from the utter uselessness of his first words.

While we still got mum and dad, the next 11 words are definitely not going to help him navigate life, even if they are providing a lot of laughs for his big brother and sister! Presenting the most useless words a baby can say.

1. Yummy yummy yummy

This started when the big kids said yummy whenever they were eating. Its uselessness is that it is his signal that he is hungry. It took a while for Grandma and childcare to catch on.

2. Boom

This means music, as in ‘I would like to bop around please’. I’m not sure exactly where this started, but it is accompanied with a lot of cute dance moves.

3. Pop

This means bubbles which they all love to pop. While it seems slightly useful, number 4 makes it less so.

4. Bubble

A trick one for the new player. This does not in fact mean bubble (see number 3 for help there) but means himself. The big kids have always called him bub or bubba which has somehow kind of sweetly become Bubble. Perhaps one we will need to clear up with him before kindy.

5. Splat

This means he has hurt himself, as in gone splat.

6. Uno

This has come from the big kids’ favourite game and my littlest often runs around saying it for no apparent reason.

7. Spotto

Ditto number 6, the big kids’ favourite car game is where they call out spotto for every yellow vehicle they see. Given that my littlest can’t yet see out the window or know about the colour yellow, it’s another one he keeps for random occasions.

8. Waddle

Rather than duck or even quack, the big kids have taught him that ducks are ‘waddles’. To add to the fun, this is accompanied by a funny waddling dance. Okay, in truth it is kind of cute.

9. Bang

This refers to balloons, which he loves to burst with a bang, and then ask for more bang.

10. Swish swish

Surprisingly this means bath. Whenever it’s tub time, the big two swim around singing “swish swish like a fish”. So swish swish it is.

11. Jump jump jump

Appears like it might be useful, a turn on the trampoline perhaps? It would be, except it refers to a kangaroo. Or sometimes a rabbit. Pretty much anything that jumps. Except him jumping, because that might be a little bit useful.

In truth, it is all very sweet. And they are 11 cute first words, especially said in that endearing little kid voice. But with such a limited vocabulary, there are perhaps some slightly more useful things he could be saying!

Want to know more about how smart babies can be? Check this article about how babies can recognise numbers right from birth.

Avatar of Kerry Rosser

I love my three country kids - and all things writing! Like most mums, I wear lots of hats - writer, children's author, organisational psychologist and the pairer of the odd socks!

Write A Comment