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Viva La Vagina

Dear marketers, young girls, young boys and anyone else who’s confused… vaginas are not dirty. Women do not need special soap or wipes for their intimate bits and quite frankly I’m offended that the products even exist.

What the fuck is going on?

I’m worried for our latest generation of girls and young women. It bothers me that the conversation they are involved in talks about hairless vaginas and intimate cleansing. It infuriates me that our latest generation of boys and young men are eavesdropping on that conversation. The conversation which carries, far and wide, this message.

Vaginas are unclean.

Remember early high school? I do. I remember lots of disgusting jokes about fishy smelling girls and snail trails and the grossness of periods. It was a tough time for a developing girl. It was shameful. We noticed that ‘down there’ did smell a bit. We noticed that there was that discharge that we couldn’t control. We were already embarrassed. We were already uncomfortable. But advertising wasn’t what it is today. There wasn’t social media. There wasn’t a life online. You copped the ribbing at school and went home and tried to forget about it.

Girls and boys are still the same today. Boys still joke about that stuff and girls are still uncomfortable. But now, they’re being told that the boys aren’t actually joking. Now, they’re being told they should be embarrassed. Not in those actual words of course. No it’s far more insidious than that. Today’s conversation is wrapped up in fancy packaging and words like Femfresh Intimate Wash and Libra Get Fresh Wipes. Make sure that dirty area is fresh. ALL.THE.TIME. And, while you’re at it, make sure you get rid of all that hideous pubic hair. You know, the stuff that differentiates your grown up vagina from that of a child. Eeewwww can you imagine it? A woman who smells like a woman with a hairy vagina??? #wouldntfuckherwithyourdick

Seriously, I’m mad. I can’t even articulate it without swearing. Profusely. The ads on tv offend me. The bottles of feminine hygiene I find in my ‘ladies lunch’ gift bag offend me. The entire fucking message offends me. I’m livid that girls my sister’s age are not only uncomfortable being a woman but have no idea how to celebrate it. They’re waxing their vaginas to hairless peril just in case they hook up with a guy. A guy that’s probably only ever seen hairless vaginas.

You know what I don’t get? Men stink. Their arses smell and their balls sweat. Is there a ‘Manfresh Intimate Sack Wash’ for them? Do they have ‘Lynx Get Fresh Arse Wipes’ in their gym bags? Are they waxing their balls and their crack? Nope. Not a chance. Why?

I want to change the conversation, I just don’t know how. I’m no activist but I am pissed off. And I do truly believe there’s something wrong here.

Don’t you??

Avatar of Tania Pradun

Autobiographical blogger, enthusiastic dancer and karaoke singer Tania Pradun brings her own brand of reality as a mum and entrepreneur to MumCentral. Well and truly in the ‘sandwich generation’ between teenage boys and ageing parents, Tania’s writing style is searingly authentic, making her readers laugh, cry and rage at the universal challenges today’s generation of parents face. Tania runs her booming Adelaide-based catering business Amazing Grazers from home, and in her ‘spare time’ attracts millions of views on TikTok for her grazing platter how-to’s. You can find her on Instagram @amazing_grazers and TikTok @amazinggrazers


  1. Avatar of Juliette

    I agree wholeheartedly. I tried the whole waxing thing when dating as it was sort of expected! I had horrible ingrown hairs and found the whole thing a massive waste of time, money, and a bit insulting. You’re correct in that boys bits stink too! Quite often they are dirty with horrendous smelling cheesy bits!!!! At least the vagina is self cleaning unlike smelly penises.

  2. Avatar of John Halls
    John Halls Reply

    … and the times, they are a changin’ … in my day, Dad’s said nothing about anything to do with sex. That was left to the mums, and it was always handled delicately. Now days, Dad’s tell their son’s all kinds of dumb things about the opposite sex, as it makes them feel ‘knowledgeable’ about these things, but it has created an avalanche of misconceptions that has filtered into the marketplace, and, like the author says, it’s wrong. Maybe she should produce and sell the products she mentioned? She would become super rich, as women, worldwide, would buy them as presents for their partners, even it was only for a joke. Stranger things have happened. *smiles*

  3. Avatar of Shelley Wild
    Shelley Wild Reply

    I heard a female gp discussing women’s issues at a seminar, in front of an audience full of women and girls of all ages. The subject of feminine hygiene products came up when someone brought up a question relating to pap smears, and “how clean” should a woman be when she attends her gp for one. One gp replied really nicely, that just standard hygiene is perfectly fine, have a shower that morning etc. The other gp on the panel laughed and said to “and at least have a trim, not that any woman has hair down there any more anyway”.
    Now if that is the opinion of a female gp, who is at a seminar dicussing women’s issues, exactly how comfortable does that make people feel going to their own gp?

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