This week, the husband and I have been married for 10 years.

I looked into getting him something nice, and the traditional wedding anniversary gifts list had me giggling hysterically and shouting inappropriate suggestions to the husband as to what we might buy.

But it did make me think about how ‘love and marriage’ and how that ‘horse and carriage’ truly rolls in real life. Presenting the Mum Central real-life wedding anniversary gift guide. For real married couples. Living real lives. Mazel tov.

1st Wedding Anniversary: Paper

Aaaah yes… sweet love. Back when you have time, energy and two incomes. I scrapbooked a keepsake of our wedding (yes, folks, it was TEN YEARS ago now). There was a fancy-shmancy white tablecloth dinner, with good wine and even a decadent night away. We went BIG!

2nd Anniversary: Cotton

Bugger the cotton sheets. This is the year you just save time and send him the direct online link to the jewellery you desire.

3rd Wedding Anniversary: Leather

Leather? You are joking. Kind of sounds creepy. Coffee. You need coffee. Babies have consumed you. You do not do the sleep thing anymore and you are now back to one income. Surely that coffee pod machine will come up for sale again soon?

4th Wedding Anniversary: Fruit or Flowers

You try keeping the love alive, but oh-so-much tired. And who has time to change the water in a vase of flowers anyway? Not you, that’s for sure. This is the year you slide into ordering a pizza and putting a movie on for the kids. Candles? Do you even own candles? Try looking in the kitchen junk drawer.

5th Wedding Anniversary: Wood

You decide to ‘really make an effort this year’. So you book the pub for dinner and the whole family heads out for Parmas.

6th Wedding Anniversary: Candy or Iron

I’m all for chocolate, but it just never feels like enough for a special occasion. This is where you hear the grumblings of…”I BORE TWO CHILDREN FOR YOU and all I get is this Toblerone and a bunch of flowers you bought at the servo on your way home?” You call the whole thing off and go to bed. Unless your husband went the iron route and walked in the door with an ACTUAL iron. I don’t need to tell you how that one ends.

7th Wedding Anniversary: Wool or Copper

Anniversary? What? Today? Of course you didn’t forget!

(Online. Voucher. Emailed to his work. Done.)

8th Wedding Anniversary: Pottery or Bronze

This is the year you vow to do it right. You keep bringing it up and all sorts of romantic things get thrown in the mix. You end up buying that fabulous print you saw at the furniture shop that you claim is for both of you, but secretly is exactly what you have been looking for to go in the hallway.

9th Wedding Anniversary: Willow or Pottery

This time you agree to keep it low key, and promise to do something really awesome for ‘the big one’ next year. You go ahead and buy something practical that you actually need and have been saving for, and decide, “we’ll just make that our anniversary gift, will we?” You start to google places that have Kids Club for next year.

10th Wedding Anniversary: Tin or Aluminium

And here we are at 10 years.

The reality is all the warranties from the home goods you bought or received as wedding gifts are expiring. Everything is breaking down. Tin, heh? Well, we need a new roof, but not especially romantic and out of budget. No… I went right to the heart. The other night, whilst I balanced both my laptop and sick 5 year old on the couch, I snapped up a mattress that was on sale. To be delivered in about a jillion weeks.  Done.

Oh… and we are going walking … together … like old people who just spent all our money on a mattress and can’t afford flights. Or Kids Club. On the up-side, the kids are that bit older and we have farmed them out to unsuspecting family and friends.

We may not return. Although someone does need to be at home to receive that mattress.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Got an anniversary of your own coming up? Check out this fabulous idea if you are seeking some fun inspiration for your next date night.

Author

Self proclaimed salted caramel expert and champagne taster, Anna might be heard shrieking at her kids to "hold on with both hands" at a Melbourne playground near you. She lives with her son, daughter and cycling obsessed husband, and dreams of one day writing books in a little cottage, in front of a big window, beside the beach.

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