Picking a baby name is one of the first big decisions you make as a parent—it’s the opening act of your child’s life story. Whether you’re honouring your nan, channelling your inner hipster, or just trying to win the “most unique name at daycare” prize, the possibilities seem endless. But before you go scribbling ‘Captain Thunderbolt’ or ‘Princess Consuela Banana-Hammock’ on the birth certificate, hold up. There’s a list of banned baby names and why you can’t use them!
In true Aussie fashion, there are rules—and yes, they’re enforced. Australia’s Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages has an official list of 89 banned names, and trying to sneak one past them could see your application chucked straight into the bin. These names aren’t just frowned upon—they’re illegal. So, if you’re thinking of naming your bub something controversial, royal, rude, or straight-up ridiculous, prepare for some serious side-eye from the state.
Titles, Taboos, and Total No-Go Zones!
Leave the Titles at the Door
Thinking of naming your little one “King,” “Queen,” or “Captain“? Think again. Any name that resembles an official title or rank is a no-no. That includes “Admiral,” “Baron,” “Duke,” and even “Prime Minister.” The government isn’t keen on pint-sized nobility running around.
Offensive? That’s Offensive!
Baby names that are considered obscene or offensive are also banned. So, if you’re contemplating names like “S**thead” or “Dickhead,” it’s best to reconsider. The same goes for names like “Cyanide,” “Satan,” and “Devil.” The goal is to prevent children from bearing names that could subject them to ridicule or harm.
Pop Culture and Brand Names? Not So Fast
While you might be a die-hard fan of “Harry Potter” or have a penchant for “Nutella,” naming your child after them is off the table. Other banned baby names include “Facebook,” “Robocop,” “Ikea,” and “iMac.” The authorities are keen to keep the registry free from brand names and pop culture references.
The Full Bogan to Bonkers Spectrum
Need examples? Strap in.
You can’t name your baby:
- Admiral, Baron, Brigadier, Captain, Commander, Major, Marshal, Sergeant, Corporal or Lieutenant – your child is not a military unit.
- Princess, Prince, Queen, King, Majesty, Dame, Lord, or Lady – this isn’t a royal court, it’s a daycare.
- Doctor, Professor, Justice, Honour, Constable, Inspector, Commissioner, or Minister – unless your baby’s coming out with a PhD, calm down.
- Jesus Christ, God, Messiah, Goddess, Saint, Christ, Father, Dalai Lama, or Pope – we love spiritual vibes, but this is a bit much.
And yes, someone tried to name their kid Adolf Hitler. Also banned? Osama Bin Laden, Satan, and Terrorist. What. The. Actual.
Why are these baby names banned?
Each Australian state and territory has its own Births, Deaths and Marriages Registration Act, but they all share common guidelines. Names are prohibited if they:
- Are obscene or offensive
- Resemble official titles or ranks
- Are too long or contain symbols, numbers, or punctuation marks
- Could be considered misleading
The aim is to ensure that names are in the best interest of the child and the community.
Not-So-Fun & Freaky: The WTF List
Still not convinced people are wild. Here are more real names parents have tried to register in Australia:
- Nutella, Ikea, Facebook, iMac – tech-savvy, but no.
- Monkey, Bomb, Snort, Thong, Smelly, Virgin, Cyanide, Chow Tow (a Cantonese slur), and Ranga – all rejected for obvious reasons.
- Passport, Medicare, and Australia – bureaucratically cursed.
- Seaman, G-Bang, Panties, and Bonghead – are you trying to ruin your child’s life?
One poor bub nearly got landed with Socceroos. True blue, but truly bonkers.
What Happens If You Try Anyway?
If you try to sneak one of these names past the Registry, your application will be rejected, and you’ll be asked to pick something else. You can’t appeal by saying “but it’s meaningful to us” if that meaning is Messiah Bonghead the Third.
Each Aussie state and territory follows similar naming rules to protect kids from embarrassment and keep official records clear. No one wants a Medicare card for “Judge Satan G-Bang”.
Banned baby names in Australia:
- Admiral
- Adolf Hitler
- Anzac
- Australia
- Baron
- Bishop
- Brigadier
- Bomb
- Bonghead
- Brother
- Cadet
- Captain
- Chief
- Christ
- Chow Tow
- Colonel
- Commander
- Commissioner
- Commodore
- Constable
- Corporal
- Cyanide
- Dalai Lama
- Dame
- Devil
- Dickhead
- Doctor
- Duke
- Emperor
- Father
- G-Bang
- General
- God
- Goddess
- Harry Potter
- Honour
- Ikea
- iMac
- Inspector
- Jesus Christ
- Judge
- Justice
- King
- Lady
- Lieutenant
- Lord
- Madam
- Mafia
- Majesty
- Major
- Marijuana
- Marshal
- Medicare
- Messiah
- Minister
- Mister
- Monkey
- Nazi
- Ned Kelly
- Nutella
- Officer
- Osama Bin Laden
- Panties
- Passport
- Pope
- Premier
- President
- Prime Minister
- Prince
- Princess
- Professor
- Queen
- Ranga
- Robocop
- Saint
- Satan
- Scrotum
- Seaman
- Sergeant
- S**thead
- Sir
- Sister
- Smelly
- Snort
- Socceroos
- Terrorist
- Thong
- Virgin
There’s a fine line between unique and yikes. Sure, you want your kid to stand out—but not because they’re the only Robocop Facebook Jesus Hitler Panties at kindy. So be creative, be thoughtful, and maybe keep your name brainstorm just this side of sane.
Want to double-check your name choice before printing it on a cake? You can always consult your state’s registry website. Or better yet, ask yourself: Would I be okay shouting this name across Woolies?
