Adulthood: It happens to the best of us. And often without us even realising!
One day we wake and we’re no longer the free-spirited, irresponsible twenty-something we once knew and loved. We’re an adult, with grown-up responsibilities, little humans to raise and daily adulting to do. #meh
Weekend-long festivals, where we came home with only one shoe and without our phone, and probably our dignity, are replaced with weekend-long soccer carnivals fuelled by coffee and sausage rolls.
Late night dance parties that ended with a feast of two-minute noodles and grilled cheese sandwiches take a back seat to kids’ birthday parties complete with fairy floss and jumping castles.
And all-night study sessions with friends, pizzas, and beers are replaced with all-night cuddle sessions with our sick or scared kids.
My, how things have changed…
WARNING: You've Entered Adulthood
Sure, it’s sad to see our bodies become saggier, our hair becoming grey and our bank accounts getting smaller with every mortgage payment, but it’s all part of the fun of adulting.
We can still play by our own rules, party like it’s 1999, and dance like no one is watching. We just prefer to do it before 9 pm.
If you’re at that eye-opening stage where reality is starting to kick in, here are a few more signs that you’ve officially entered adulthood.
1. You have a Pinterest board dedicated purely to pantries
There’s nothing quite like a good ol ‘fashioned perv on pantry porn. And don’t even get me started on well-organised linen closets…
2. You use eye shadow to cover grey hairs
Been a while between salon appointments? Never fear. Your old eye shadow pallet will do the trick. Or even your mascara wand!
3. You repeat yourself. A lot.
Adulting is all about repetition. This is sometimes because you find you forget things if you don’t. But, mostly, it’s because the kids don’t bloody listen to you the first time around.
4. Your bedside table drawer is no longer X-rated
Instead, it contains a collection of your kid’s drawings that they insisted you keep, a heating pack for adult aches and pain and lip balm (sore lips suck).
5. You are slightly obsessed with grazing platters
So easy, so versatile, so pretty, so delicious! Grazing platters for the win!
6. You consider 10 pm a late night out
Especially when you know for a fact the kids will be waking you up at 5 am.
7. You realise your mother was actually right
Not that you’ll ever admit that to her though…
8. You dread hangovers more than anything else in the world
Parenting while hungover is literally the 10th circle of Hell. Worse than all the other circles combined.
9. Loud music slightly annoys you
As do loud people, loud car engines, loud breathers. Why must everything be so loud?
10. You love coffee..but don’t wanna risk drinking it after 4 pm
It may keep you up past 10 pm, after all.
11. You own more activewear than going out clothes
Going to the gym/grocery store/Bunnings counts as going out, right?
12. Your dining room table doubles as your clothes-folding area
Did you know a six-seat setting can hold three loads of washing? Probably. You’re an adult now, after all.
13. You’re still rocking maternity jeans… five years after last being pregnant
Comfort is the new black.
14. You plan what’s for dinner before 8 am.
Bonus points if you plan what’s for dinner a week (or more) in advance.
Triple points if you also stocktake your pantry/fridge/freezer before going grocery shopping each week. #expertleveladulting
15. You collect house plants
Possibly also coffee mugs. And you’ve finally managed to get rid of your old collection of shot glasses and beer steins. Or, at least pushed them to the back of the cupboard where they are no longer on display.
16. Your child has more social activities on the schedule than you do
And most people refer to you as “Your-kid’s-name’s-mum”.
17. For Christmas, you asked for a coffee machine, a vacuum cleaner or a gift card to Kmart.
And you were more-than-excited when Santa delivered.
18. Machines beep at you all day long
The dishwasher, the washing machine, the stupid smoke-alarm that hates your cooking…
19. You’ve seen most of Disney’s live remakes of their classics in cinemas
You say you’re going for the kids. But let’s be honest, it was never for the kids. Aladdin. The Lion King. Mulan. These are 100% for US ADULTS. Don’t let the G-rating fool you!
Yes, adulting is hard. Realising that you’re officially an adult is a bitter-sweet moment. So let’s pour ourselves a glass of grown-up Pinot and toast to adulting. But probably only one.
After all, we’ve got grown-up stuff to do tomorrow…