There is soooooo much pressure to be a good mum these days, to raise a perfectly well-behaved child, to keep a healthy home, to look like you’ve actually managed to put on a face full of makeup in the morning.

If you happen to have an off day (okay, an off year), then you’re automatically seen as ‘struggling’ or ‘failing’.

Well, I’m calling bullshit.

Sorry society, social media and the countless ‘scientific studies’ that suggest I am screwing up my kids, but I’m not a bad mum just because I occasionally lose my shit.

And, to all the mums reading this right now, neither are you.

You’re not failing, even if the studies suggest otherwise

The truth is you’re not a bad mum, even if you occasionally yell. And swear. And fight with your husband about whose turn it is to take out the rubbish (HIS).

You’re not a bad mum, even if you burn dinner. Or give up entirely and order crappy takeaway.

parenting lies we tell ourselves

You’re not a bad mum, just because you haven’t done a load of washing in two weeks. You’ve just realised that washing clothes is impossible when you have a baby clinging to you all day long.

You’re not a bad mum, even if you let your kids watch other kids unwrap toys on YouTube. It entertains them. And it’s better than watching your kids unwrap toys in your living room and having to clean up the plastic bits and pieces left behind.

You’re not a bad mum, even if you need a break from the kids, one that involves wine, chocolate or preferably both.

These things don’t make you a bad mum. They make you human.

Bad days don’t make bad mums

Even if your baby spent the majority of the day crying and you spent most of the day trying to get him to sleep, you’re not doing anything wrong. You (and him) just had a bad day.

Even if your toddler can’t use the toilet and you’ve spent more time cleaning urine off the couch than cooking dinner, you’re not failing. Toilet training is seriously shit. No pun intended.

Even if your preschooler can’t hold a pencil properly, or your school-aged child can’t read, or your teenager is getting bullied, you’re not a bad mum for it. You’re an awesome mum for being concerned.

Because good mums worry about their kids. And good mums will do just about anything to keep them happy, healthy and safe.

Good mums love their kids… and occasionally want to sell them to the highest bidder

Good mums stay up half the night helping their son finish a stupid ocean diaroma. Then these same good mums forget to brush their teeth in the morning, are late for school drop off and need to guzzle 15 cups of coffee just to function.

Good mums visit 15 different Kmarts looking for a sold-out toy and do a happy dance when they FINALLY find it. Then these good mums swear at the self check-out when it tells them “there’s an extra item in the baggage area.” (No there is NOT, YOU FREAKING PIECE OF SHIT MACHINE).

“It’s Complicated” My Relationship Status With Toddlerhood

Good mums giggle with their kiddies behind closed doors, cuddle beneath the sheets and share special moments that often don’t make it on to Insta.

Good mums love their kids. But they also love their sanity, which means sometimes good mums have to lose their shit so they don’t lose their minds.

So, to all the toy-hunting/diaroma-making/coffee-guzzling good mums out there, you can stop the guilt about not being a good parent or not doing enough. To your kids, you are doing enough. To your kids, you are MORE THAN enough.

And that’s all the proof you need that you’re not just a good mum, but a f-ing awesome one. Even if you drop the occasional F bomb…

Make sure to check our previous article about the 14 things mums need to stop apologising for.

Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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