Parents can be super annoying when you are a kid. They make you brush your teeth and go to bed and won’t let you eat a bucketload of sugar at 9am.

For teenagers, everything is annoying, especially the little things. I still remember the things my mum said to drive me crazy on purpose.

Every single time I asked: “What time is it?”, my mum would reply “10 to 9”. To this day, that STILL annoys me.

When I asked “Where are we going?”, she’d often say: “Timbuktu.” That’s a city in MALI. She just liked the sound of it. I’m still planning to go there one day and take a photo and send it to her with the caption: Finally made it.

My kids laughed so much when I told them those stories. But just wait kids, it will happen to you. I will become incredibly annoying as you get older.

And according to teen and 20-something Twitter users, I won’t have to do much.

How to annoy your kids according to Twitter

Twitter user Jamie recently asked the universe:

And the replies make a pretty great list…of ways you can annoy your own kids. They’re also, super funny and petty.

  • Instead of calling it ‘pepperoni’, my Dad says ‘peperami’. Could be at an Italian restaurant and my Dad will legitimately ask the waiter for a ‘peperami pizza’. Send help. – @jamiegrpollock
  • Instead of saying “take a chill pill” my dad says “take a chill-out tablet” – @_RBrady
  • My mum calls I’m a celebrity get me out of here “celebrity jungle” and it proper gets on my nerves for literally no reason – @AidOBrien98
  • Writes ‘lol’ at the end of every message, no matter how sad or serious. Thinks it means ‘lots of love’. Mum: Just texting to say your cat has been put down, nothing they could do, it’s for the best. LOL x – @tom_mooro 
  • My mum says ‘ohhh pimp my ride’ every time something shocks her and I can’t even begin to understand why – @Sinclair1875
  • Instead of calling it “The Simpsons” my Mum just used to say “Bart Simpson” and it really got on my wick – @CharlieSalterr
  • My mom refers to the “Diary of a wimpy kid” movies as “Rodrick” and I have no idea why because the last time anyone in my family saw those movies was 6 years ago. – @fullsendEQ 
  • My mum calls Ibuprofen “Ibrufen” and it does my head in – RobotsDave
  • My dad calls salad dressing “lettuce lotion” and it makes me feel sick every time he says it. – @doubbledates 
  • When I was 16 I wanted puff daddy’s album my mum went into the shop and asked for puffing Billy…… I just turned and walked out. – @Kristofle1983
  • My mum screams when she sneezes – @AlexHeron12 
  • Every time I’m watching football with my dad and our team gets a corner/free kick he’ll say “we need a good delivery” and I’m always like damn I hope the players have thought of that – @Sinclair1875
  • My dad calls the Kardashians the pistachios – @thehannahdelgay 
  • Yo one time my mum said ‘fantastic beasts and where to get them from’ and I’ve never stopped thinking about it – @Brosullivan_
  • My mum always said “play it by year” instead of “play it by ear” and I only clocked on a few years ago – @yoiain
  • We were at an Indian restaurant and my grandma asked the waiter if the food had LSD in it… (she meant MSG like what they often put in Chinese takeaways) –@CodieRSmith
  • My mum calls picnics ‘pignigs’ as in, ‘what a lovely day let’s go for a pignig’ I just don’t get it – @SydneyHogg
  • Only have to mention a first name of ANYONE around my mum and she thinks she knows them Example: ‘jack did this’ ‘Ohhh Jack smith???’ Usually someone I went to primary school with 15 years ago and haven’t spoken to since, no mum there are other jacks in this world – @emmybbbb
  • My mum says “get an Uber taxi” – @kingstonwrites
  • My mum says she’s going to ‘take her eyes out’ every night, when she’s taking out her contact lenses – @Becca_McHugh
  • My dad refers to the dog’s collar as his “belt” – @lozza_crozza
  • My mom once described a lady at church’s singing voice as “urethral” she meant “ethereal” – @Tor_H

But this grandpa really wins for me. I can not wait to do this when I am his age.

Mums annoying kids on purpose

Of course, some parents jumped onto the thread and added the things they do on purpose to bug their kids. And they’re not planning on stopping anytime soon.

  • I’m a Mom. I say SO many things to annoy my kids eg hoodie = jogging top, X Box = Nintendo thing, Made in Chelsea = Love Island (every time), tattoos= it doesn’t come off, y’know, record TV = tape it for me. Could go on. I live for it. @KitdeWaal
  • I call Snapchat WhatsApp and it drives my 13-year-old daughter into a rage. – @HorrorPaperback
  • And when they’ve grown up you’ll really annoy them by using their childhood words for things eg lellow = yellow, bisons = biceps (‘look at my bisons mum’), dee daw = swing – don’t ask! Endless fun being an annoying parent. @SueMMcGuire
  • As a mother of a teenage daughter, I would like to report that I enjoy pronouncing meme wrongly purely to annoy her. – @emsy5smith

Well played Mums, well played.

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Alison Godfrey has worked as a journalist and editor for more than 20 years. She loves coffee, wine, skiing and spending time with her husband, two children and their dog. But she's still not sure about the cat. He's pretty cranky.

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