I’m calling it. Having a baby in 2018 is strange. 

It’s been six years between pregnancies and I swear the number of ‘must-have’ baby products on the market has quadrupled since my last go at this whole baby-growing thing.

On my quest to find the hippest new baby products, I’ve come across some pretty odd extras. And it wouldn’t be fair of me NOT to share them with everyone else.

Pregnant or not, these crazy baby products are sure to have you scratching your head.


1. Fringe benefits

This, ladies and gents, is a wig for your baby. And not just any wig. Or no. It’s a baby bang wig to cover your daughter’s bald head and ensure she looks ultra chic in her headbands.

crazy baby products bangs


2. iPoop 

Need proof that our obsession with technology might be a little out of control? Enter the iPotty, which allows your baby to watch iPad while emptying their bowels. This one has bad idea written all over it. In fact, it actually won the Worst Toy of the Year Award (yes, there are awards for this).

ipotty crazy baby products


3. Baby, hang on

You know how frustrating it can be when you’re desperate for a wee but your baby wants to be carried? Well, there’s a harness for that. This baby hanging harness lets you hang your baby up anywhere. Designed especially for use in public restrooms, we’re not sure whether this is the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. Or the worst.

crazy baby products harness


4. Shittens

No BS here. There are mittens designed to clean up baby poop. Simply put on your Shitten, wipe, and discard. Your hand stays 100% clean even when faced with the biggest poonamis.

Shittens poop glove


5. The daddy strap-on

Are you ready for this? It’s a daddle. Yes, a dad saddle, a strap-on saddle that dad wears to ensure the best horsey rides ever. Giddy up!

crazy baby products daddle


6. Puppetry of the finger penis

Surprising your family with a gender reveal is a must for expecting mums these days (I swear this wasn’t even a thing my last time around). One way you can surprise them is with a cute gender reveal card. Like this one. Which allows you to use your finger to simulate their massive baby penis. It’s a boy indeed!

crazy baby products gender reveal card


7. The plastic butt straw

How do you relieve gas in an infant? You stick this weird plastic straw known as Windi up bub’s butt and let ‘er rip. The device even comes with its own stopper to prevent you from going too far. Some parents swear this contraption is actually a godsend. Honestly I’m not game to try.

windi crazy baby products


8. BYO Pee

Just in case your baby wants to carry a suitcase of their own urine around.

crazy baby products my carry potty


9. Go on the go

Of course, if you don’t want to lug around a bulky suitcase of pee, you can always carry it in this handy on-the-go animal-shaped urinal. I don’t want to alarm any new parents out there but public toilets still exist.

travel urinal crazy baby products


10. Chew toy for tots

Dogs really seem to love chewing on squeaky toys that resemble meat products. Hey, I wonder if babies will too.

Enter the Appeteether, a spare-ribbed or bacon shaped chew toy for your carnivore to horrify people with.

appeteethers crazy baby products


11. Smell ya later 

Why you’d ever want to cover up that delicious new baby smell is beyond me. But, hey, if you decide your baby smells too incredible, you can douche her with this baby perfume. Take that Chanel.

Kaloo baby perfume crazy baby products


Of course, these are only a few of the oddball items on the market these days. There’s buck-tooth dummies, itty bitty penis teepees and baby mop onesies, to name a few more crazy baby products. For older kids there’s also a whole slew of crazy toys that are sure to scar them for life.

If you are on the hunt for baby products that may actually benefit you and bub, head on over to our ultimate mum and bub giveaway where we’re giving away 10 baby essentials (none of which made this list), including a pram, carrier, car seat, breast pump, nappy bag and more!

Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe, including her son, daughter, cat, dog, partner and baby #3 who is currently taking up residence on her bladder. When she's not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach or nagging her kids to put on their pants.

1 Comment

  1. We constantly hear or read warnings about giving our babies screens, because of eye damage. That should be banned. How old will your child be before you can relying a screen and not refuse to use the toilet or throw tantrums. We found it difficult to get a 2 1/2 y.o. to use a public toilet, not a potty.

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