First you do the dishes. Then we do you.
Truth: Men who do the dishes get more sex. Why?
Because doing the dishes sucks. And having someone do this shitty chore for you somehow puts you in the mood to put out. According to a recent study, at least.
The Council of Contemporary Families confirms what we’ve known all along. Doing chores is lame. Sitting on the couch drinking wine is much better.
But, of all the household chores that women hate, doing the dishes seems to rank the highest. So if you’re a guy who wants to get more sex, it’s time to get your suds on.
“Doing dishes is gross,” says Dan Carlson, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Utah, and the lead author of the study. “There is old, mouldy food sitting in the sink. If you have kids, there is curdled milk in sippy cups that smells disgusting.”
Plus, doing the dishes leads to no praise whatsoever. “What is there to say? ‘Oh, the silverware is so … sparkly’?” says Dan.
Leaving dirty dishes in the sink lead to arguments, not sex. Fact.
Not only do we LOATH it, but it’s also a bit hard to get in the mood after touching gooey half-chewed food, especially when your partner is sitting on the couch relaxing. In fact, doing the dishes is also the the chore most likely to cause friction and resentment in a relationship.
Friction leads to fights. And fights lead to a sex-free night. Usually.
According to the study, women who wash most of the household’s dishes report less satisfaction in their relationships, more conflict, and a less-than-boisterous sex life. Women who share doing the dishes are happier than they are about splitting any of the other household duties, including shopping, house cleaning and laundry.
So what’s the solution? Easy. Get a dishwasher. And a vibrator.
Men, put on the dishwashing gloves. Get your hands dirty with the leftover spag bol and lumpy cereal.
Women, take your clean hands and wine and chill out on the couch. And prepare to get dirty later, after the dishes are done. And the kids are in bed.
Scrub first, get more sex later
Let’s face it. Women get the raw end of the deal when it comes to household duties. Or I do, at least.
My partner gets the fun chores – washing the car, cleaning the pool, mowing the lawn, blowing down the patio, all of which involve being outside in the sun, with a beer in hand and usually without a shirt on (which I’m not complaining about, by the way).
I get scrubbing poo stains from the toilet seat, sifting through mountains of dirty laundry and picking leftover meat sauce off a pan. Sure, I could do them topless. But it’s not the same.
Don’t really want to get more sex? Maybe you’re looking for ways to get out of doing the housework? Have a read of our guide on how to make it look like you’ve been cleaning all day, when really you’ve been on the couch, binge-watching Netflix and eating nachos.