Because it’s just not Christmas without a countdown of super cheeky Santa letters from little kids.

And this year’s crop of Christmas letters do not disappoint! Prepare for a few chuckles with these Christmas crackers.

Kids. They drive us crazy. But they can be funny AF! Especially when you give them free reign of the Christmas letter writing.

So what do the wee ones want for Christmas this year? Oh, you know, the regular – a pony, an Xbox, a dog that poops…

We’ll let you read them for yourself:

For Christmas I want…

“Leonardo DiCaprio” 

The Oscar-winning actor can come anytime during summer vacation. How flexible.


“Hand sanitizer”

Preferably to use after Taco Tuesday.

“A dog that poops” 

Not just a regular dog. It has to poop.

“A little sister”

But not for two years

“A present” 

This little girl had “a healthy poop” and played with her neighbours. If that’s not reason enough to bring gifts, then we don’t know what is!

Just “5.3 billion dollars”

Not much on the list this year.

“Please text my dad”

Dad has the full list. We’re not sure if this is the epitome of laziness. Or genius.

No funny business…

Of course, kids get a little cranky when they don’t get what they want year after year. And these little ones aren’t afraid to tell Santa how it is:

Where’s MY Pony, dammit

The pony doesn’t look too pleased either.

Stuff the stuffed puppy

None of this pretend crap, Santa. Bring the real deal… or face the wrath.


Seriously, Santa stop trying to pass clothing off as presents. This little one’s not having a bar of it.

‘Twas the Night before Christmas…

In addition to writing a letter to Santa before the big day, many kids choose to leave Santa a little letter with his milk and bickies on Christmas Eve.

And, of course, they are just as inappropriate and hilarious as you’d expect…

The great veggie debate

Mum chooses veggies. Kid chooses cookies. Which will Santa choose?

funny Santa letters

“I hope I did not give you too much wiskey”

Carrots for Rudolph. Whisky for Santa. A Merry Christmas for all!

Well that about sums up this year’s Santa letters. We can’t wait to see what our little ones come up with next year. In the meantime, have a look at what Prince George asked for Christmas this year. It doesn’t involve pizza, pooping dogs or whisky. But it’s still pretty cute.


Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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