Forget crows feet and frown lines because smoothing your face is so 2015. The hottest new trend is getting your downstairs done right back up with a ‘labia puffing’.

This non-surgical procedure involves injecting your own body fat into your labia for a fuller and more youthful appearance. The multiple injections take only approximately 30 minutes and there is apparently ‘minimal downtime’ post session.

This procedure is reportedly on the increase with a 45% spike in demand since 2010. Interestingly the average age of those undertaking the procedure has dropped from 35 to 28 with the data leading us to believe that most are doing it for cosmetic rather than medical reasons.

Jennifer Walden, a beauty plastic surgeon, says the procedure is motivated by the labia losing volume and fullness with age as well as menopause and childbirth.

She told Daily Star Online: “The benefit of labia puffing is that it uses you own fat from another area of your body to add volume back to an area that deflates with time.”

Dr Walden added that some patients noted a boost in their sex drives and general increased confidence about the appearance of their genitals after the procedure.

Me? I’m all for doing something that makes you feel better about yourself, so for the sisters who’ve allowed their va-jay-jay to be treated like nana’s pin cushion, power to you sister! I hope you feel amazing for it, your sex life’s rocking like Mick Jagger’s dressing room and you’ve a spring in your step like you’re 21 again!

For the needle-phobes and mind-boggles-at-the-thought gals like myself I can only think the following:

  • I have two kids, a headache and a sink full of dishes. My other half should be so damn delighted to see my knickers off and an inviting glance that he wouldn’t dare suggest I’ve not got the full labia I had in my pre-children days… He’s a smart guy I tell you. You’d be a brave (and long-time celibate) man to tell me otherwise!
  • If I’m getting any cosmetic work done it’s going to be something that other mum’s at the school gate can see. And talk about. Isn’t the whole point of this kind of work so that people say ‘Gee, Helen looks fresh, do you think she’s had Botox?’ in hushed whispers. And then you deny it and say you have a new moisturizer.
  • If the lady-garden ‘bush’ comes back I’ll be right on trend. Until then my 70’s style full mop covers a multitude of sins. Including apparently labia that might have deflated like a week old helium balloon that’s seen the better side of the party. Sad to think really, but heck I don’t know what I can’t even see. Ignorance is bliss.
  • More seriously when did we become a society that 28 year old girls are worried that their labia isn’t full enough? This makes me sad and mad. And sad again. Tell your daughters they are enough. Every. Single. Day.

If you’d like to know more about teenage girls, sexual dysmorphia, porn and society this is a great link to explore by the British Medical Journal.

Would you consider labia puffing? How does this article make you feel?

Author

Miss Chief could be any member of the Mum Central team - in fact she actually is! The truth is that this writer doesn't want her Dad to read her thoughts on 'deep penetration', her kids to google and find her smiling face next to 'I lost my orgasm' and her mum to know anything (at all!) about her ladybits. Miss Chief pulls no punches, speaks the truth and allows Mum Central to cover all the nitty gritty that we love to share - without the author needing a permanent disguise for school pick up!

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