Why We Miss Being Pregnant

Being pregnant was awful. I would rather sit outside in the pouring rain for nine months than go through the shit storm that was pregnancy again.

But sometimes, I do miss being pregnant. Well, teeny tiny snippets of it at least.

Not the haemorrhoids or the intense hip pain. Not the stupid comments from strangers or having to choose soda water over wine for 40 long weeks. NO THANK YOU.

Sunshine, roses and baby bumps

But, yes, some aspects of pregnancy were pretty cool. The glow, silky hair, the happy feelings of housing our little ones, the fact that people give up their seat to us, ’cause we are human incubators and that makes us pretty spesh.

The ability to eat ALL the cookies because “the baby was hungry” and sending hubby to the shops at 3am with requests for random snacks. Now if I ask him to pick up milk after work (from the shop RIGHT BESIDE HIS WORK), I get a “Ugh, can’t you do it?”

Two years ago he came home with American-style BBQ ribs at 11pm. American-style ribs, people. From a shop that was ALL the way on the other side of town.

You know who still loves American-stye ribs? THIS GAL. Not pregnant anymore. Still hungry for ribs.

Pregnancy gives us a get-out-of-jail-free card. We can cry over car commercials because #pregnant. We can be all moody and bitchy and demanding and batshit crazy and it’s all good ’cause it simply means we’re doing our pregnant lady duties.

Body image and baby kicks

How about that body positivity during pregnancy? It was all “belly-out-boobs-out and I don’t care, ’cause I’m preggers and look hot”.

I know this isn’t always the case, but many mums I’ve spoken to admit the bump gave a sense of confidence that, like their breasts and tummies, tends to deflate like a sad balloon once bub is out.

And those baby kicks... confirmation that something is actually growing inside and proof that she’s kicking goals in the womb. Those baby kicks were everything we needed to remind us that our babies were safe and snug.

When we were pregnant, we were in control. Bub was contained. When our babies are earthside, and howling the house down, well that sense of containment and control is thrown out the window along with our dreams of ever having American-style ribs delivered to our beds at 11pm again.

Yep. Still mourning the ribs.

But the thing we most miss about being pregnant?

It being about us

I know I sound a little bit narcissistic but hear me out. Being pregnant gives us ALL the attention. People LOVE pregnant mums. They hold doors for us and smile at us. They want to touch our stomachs and coo over pictures of our uteruses. Weird, right? But, hey, I’ll take it.

As soon as we have our precious babies in our arms, the attention automatically switches over to our newborns. And rightfully so – they are so small and sweet and smell so good. How can anyone not obsess over them???

But this hazy transition from Pregnant Goddess to Hot Mess Mum is, well, it’s a bit of a bitter pill to swallow. From “how are you mum-to-be?” to “how’s your newborn?” can subconsciously take its toll.

Less complication, more naps

The foot rubs, the naps on the couch, the lengthy walks and baths that became standard in late pregnancy tend to disappear. The attention turns to swaddling and breastfeeding and expressing during those free 12 minutes a day.

When we were pregnant, taking care of our babies and taking care of ourselves were synonymous. After pregnancy, not so much.

When our babies were safe inside, we knew you were doing the right thing simply by eating healthy(ish) and resting. Now, most days it feels like we’re screwing everything up (even though we really aren’t!).

Yep. The days of being pregnant were much less complicated and confusing and yes, sometimes we miss this.

It doesn’t mean we want to be pregnant again.

It also doesn’t take away the validity of our feelings during pregnancy when all we wanted was to NOT be pregnant. To wish we were done. To most likely claim “I AM DONE” in an irate state on a regular basis.

Mostly, it doesn’t mean we don’t adore our babies and love this new part of parenthood.

It’s totally normal to miss being pregnant

So, to the mums out there who are having a nostalgic pregnancy moment, take it. Look back at this time fondly. Remember the good stuff, ignore the bad stuff.

And, most importantly, remind yourself that the pregnancy stage was only one aspect of your motherhood journey. Pregnancy Goddess. Hot Mess New Mum. Toddler Tamer. There are plenty more roles you’ll get to play, all equally amazing and awkward as the next.

Sure, pregnancy meant you got American-style ribs at 11pm but just you wait until your baby is a teen and desperate to get behind the wheel. He’ll be looking for ANY excuse to go out for a drive.

American-style ribs, we WILL meet again. Pregnancy not necessary.