Sorry Sibling Bond. Sisterly Bond. Cousin Bond. James Bond. Your bonds are strong, but the Mother-Daughter Bond is the top tier.
According to a study published in The Journal of Neuroscience, the relationship between mothers and daughters is the strongest of all parent-child bonds.
Why is the mother-daughter bond so powerful?
Science says it all comes down to emotion.
In the study, aimed at discovering why mood disorders (such as depression) are commonly passed on from mothers to their daughters, scientists performed MRI scans on 35 healthy families. They uncovered that mothers and daughters have similar anatomy when it comes to the part of the brain that regulates emotions.
“This association was significantly greater than mother–son, father–daughter, and father–son associations,” said researchers.
What this means is that mothers and daughters are more likely to understand and relate to the emotions of each other than anyone else. And this is why their bond is considered so strong.
But is there more to it? As a mother with two daughters, I think so. Yes, science says the mother-daughter bond is strong, but I think it comes down to more than just matching MRIs.
The real reasons why the mother-daughter bond is so strong
Because mums are the OG idol
We are our daughter’s first role models. Their style icons, if you will. We had the coolest clothes and makeup collection, in the eyes of our young girls, at least. We could do the best cartwheels and always colour within the lines and everything we did was somehow really really cool.
Our little girls looked up to us with bright beaming eyes of love and adoration, and respect. We were who they wanted to be when they grew up and, in those early days before they found heroines outside of the house, we were the GOATs.
While my daughter’s list of idols of the past and present includes the likes of Elsa, Moana, the chick from The Kissing Booth and Katrina Gorry, it’s nice to know it was once me. After all, you never forget your first hero.
Because mums can relate
We’ve been there. And while it feels like a million years ago, we were once there. When we see our own daughters going through the same things we went through as young girls, it, well, it brings back all the feels. We remember how mean some girls can be, how important it was to have a specific (super expensive) water bottle, and how it really can feel like the end of the world when an important sports competition doesn’t go your way.
We’ve been there. We’ve felt it with ALL the emotions, and now that we’re older, we are able to understand these big feelings, but also guide them through it with a clear head and wise heart.
Because mums will, no matter what, always be there
From the late-night feedings to the early-morning sports, from the nervous first school drop-offs to the life-ruining first breakup, mums are there. We’re their doctors, their chefs, their chauffeurs, their teachers and their punching bags.
Even when we are no longer style icons but instead are losers with grey hair and cakey makeup, we’re still there.
Even when our daughters don’t want us to be there anymore, we are still there. With a bandaid or a late-night grilled cheese sandwich. With words of advice or simply a silent hug that says it all.
The mother-daughter bond is one that remains in the background, dormant when this is what they want, but explosive when they need us. It’s a bond that probably seems to get less obvious as they grow but trust us, just like mums, this bond is always there.
‘Because mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they’ve come’
Yes, I’m quoting Barbie, because not only is this the greatest quote in the history of movie quotes, but it’s probably the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard and, even just writing it makes me tear up.
We would move the earth for our daughters (our sons too). We would climb the highest mountain. We would run a million marathons. We would swim across the Pacific Ocean. But, this unwavering commitment to our little girls usually isn’t measured in kilometers hiked or run or swum.
It’s measured in moments of standing still. In sacrifices. In sleepless nights. In scrambled mornings. In the hours standing on the sidelines, cheering them on. Sitting in the car as they finish practice. Watching from the crowd as they step onto the stage and absolutely sparkle.
Yes, we may stand still, but watching our little girls not only follow our footprints but forge a path all their own is absolutely unmeasurable.
Because mums are just daughters that grew up
And this is what makes the mother-daughter bond an all-powerful bond. It’s the ‘full circle’ of it all.
When they are babies, daughters idolise their mums. As toddlers, they adore their mums. As young girls, they appreciate their mums. As teens, they tolerate their mums. As adults, they respect their mums.
But, it’s not until daughters themselves become mums that they really see their mums for everything that she is. They see everything she’s done. And they finally understand why this bond, this mother-daughter bond that has shaped their life so far, is truly unbreakable.
