Who’s having sex? Who’s not? And who’s doing it while bushwalking (yes really)?

It turns out that you CAN have a sex life after kids, and these mums from Sydney’s North Shore are all over that shizz.

North Shore Mums recently conducted a sex survey (anonymous of course). to find out a bit more about the gettin’ jiggy habits of mamas who call the wealthy Sydney enclave home.

Zeroing in on the fact that EVERYONE is a teensy bit curious about what’s really going on in the bedroom next door, the mum sex lives survey polled over 800 mothers. Most are in their 30s-40s, heterosexual, in a long term relationship and the proud owner of at least one child (but more likely two) between the ages of 0-10.

So how much sex are our Sydney sisters having? Is it more – or less- than us mamas from other parts of Australia? Come find out!


The sexy stats

In news about mum sex lives that will surprise absolutely nobody, the survey found that kids put a dampener on sexy time. 79% of mums say they have less sex since having children while 16% have about the same. An impressive 5% say they have MORE sex since popping out a kid. We want to know who these women are so we can hit them up for some of their magical unicorn energy juice.

“If I’m lying down I would rather be sleeping! But in all seriousness, my sex drive is lower, I find it more painful than I did before kids, and we just have far fewer opportunities.”

The top reasons for not getting in the mood regularly? We’ll give you three guesses. If you guessed ‘being freaking exhausted and not wanting to be touched by anyone between the hours of 7pm-6am’ you’d be on the money. Exhaustion, indifference and low sex drive (probably induced by being knackered) are to blame for the slide in the sexy stakes.

“I just don’t want to have sex at all with my husband. I’m tired and just want to go to sleep when I go to bed.”

Speaking honestly, many of the mums also express unhappiness with the way their body looks after having kids.

“I can’t be bothered. I would rather sleep. I am saggy and don’t like the way I look. I find it hard to believe that he finds me attractive.”

In another less than surprising finding, 48% of women say their partner usually initiates sex, while 35% share the load (pardon the pun.) Overall, 80% of couples have sex at least once a month, while just under half (44%) have sex weekly.

The Secret Sex Lives of Sydney Mums


Sex: Interrupted

Being interrupted while getting down to business is a hot topic of mum-versation. More than a quarter of mums admit to being sprung between the sheets. And their anecdotes are cringingly hilarious.

“Child is small so just moved quickly out of the bed and acted normal even though we were both naked.”

“He was 2 at the time and asked my partner why he pushed me over (he was on top) then demanded he apologised to me. We went with the flow and are a lot more careful now.”

And our favourite in the ‘so horrifying it’s hilarious’ stakes?

“Age 8, walked into bedroom and immediately said ‘ Something smells fishy”. I nearly lost it… thank god my husband didn’t.”


The secret sex lives of Sydney mums

Now here’s where the mums turn up the heat. When it comes to North Shore ladies, fantasies, affairs and threesomes abound, the mum sex lives survey shows.

Sex outdoors is HUGE – we reckon it’s that steamy Sydney humidity –  including at golf courses, while bushwalking, at the beach and plenty of car sex too. The movies, the opera house and the office are also popular hot spots for some ‘mummy and daddy time’ fun.

The Secret Sex Lives of Sydney Mums

And then there were the confessions.

“Until recently I never realised how powerful fantasising about being with another person can work wonders in the bedroom!”

“I’ve had a couple of threesomes.”

“I’m having an affair. The sex is much better, more fun, kinkier with him. I’m much more confident in the bedroom with my lover than I am with my husband.”

“I often fantasise about threesomes to help me climax.”

“An orgy with old ladies.”

Spicy stuff indeed. We’ve always known just how resourceful mums can be and it seems that rule applies to mum sex lives too. Kudos to those who manage to do anything in the car other than yell at their kids or get to a movie that doesn’t involve Pixar. We salute your creativity and apparent energy reserves.

Wondering about sexy time during pregnancy? We answer all your most asked questions. 

Author

Naomi is 3/4 latte drinking, peanut butter obsessed former magazine girl who now does stuff with words for a living while juggling 2.5 kids, 2 cats, 1 rabbit, husband and an unhealthy obsession with slow cooking.

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