Sun’s out, buns out? OR ‘think of the children!’ with a G-rated beach butt cover up? You decide.

I was at the beach recently when two peachy brown, bare butt cheeks bounced my way. No biggie, of course, EXCEPT she had her two young kids with her. Say what?!

It got me thinking – was this harmless, wholesome, cheeky fun? OR a wildly inappropriate public nudity act in the presence of your own kids? Quite frankly I can’t quite decide about mums wearing bikinis, especially when they’re barely there, so let’s discuss.

Flip, flop…flap?

Let’s get one thing straight. This woman was curvy so there was no missing her glorious cheeks flapping in the sea breeze separated only by the tiniest strip of black dental floss swimwear fabric. This was indeed an impressive arse. Hell even I was jealous! This chick was ROCKING the Brazilian bikini look like no other and there wasn’t one person on the entire beach who hadn’t clocked it.

Rump shaker

She was one hot mama alright, but that’s the key word here – MOTHER. Holding her hands were two gorgeous little boys who looked about five and seven, laughing and having a great time completely unaware that their mum (or nanny or aunt, because let’s face it I can’t be entirely sure it was their actual mum) looked like she was in the middle of a sexy beach photo shoot.

via GIPHY

Weird about the wobblies

I instantly felt at unease about it. But WHY exactly? I’m certainly no prude, but I sure ain’t getting (near) nude in public when the kids are around. Was it because I’m not feeling the body confidence right now that this woman so clearly displays every darn day? Or was it because it IS in fact inappropriate behaviour for a parent or guardian? Let’s look at this mums wearing bikinis issue from both sides.

Team: Mums with ‘out there’ bums

Okay so there are LOTS of reasons to put the green light on this hot mama and her hot arse (and anyone else for that matter who wants a flashy flesh sesh). For starters:

  • It’s a free country and she can do whatever she wants – unlike some women in other parts of the world who are forced to cover up big time.
  • She’s showing the kids how to appreciate your body and not be afraid to flaunt it – women in particular need to love themselves a bit more, no matter their size or shape.
  • The kids have probably already seen her bare bum, boobs and bonnet A TRILLION times. At home in the shower, getting changed, having a pee – your body is a free-for-all when you have kids.

On top of this, remember she’s at the beach spending active, quality time with the kids so who cares what she’s wearing! At least she’s not plonked them in front of screens or left them in the car while she’s off playing the pokies. Any mum NOT wearing pyjamas or who has made it out of the house deserves some kind of medal. Especially one so joyfully jiggling her trunk junk.

mum on beach in tiny bikini

Team: Keep it in your pants

Turning the other cheek though, there’s a pretty good argument for why the only thongs mums should be wearing to the beach are the ones on their feet. Case in point:

  • You are not a Kardashian and there aren’t paparazzi hiding in the bushes to catch a snap of your behind – only dirty pervs with long lenses and shady internet sites. Oh the horror.
  • Naked arse attracts a LOT of eyeballs – and while that might stroke your tired mum ego, what about the children? Do you really want the whole beach, including plenty of weirdos, also staring at your kids while ‘nudge nudge, wink wink’ talking about your dear rear?
  • Thanks to celebrities and magazines, the younger generation already think that stripping bare is not only the norm, but ’empowering’ and necessary. Do you really want your kids following suit? Whatever happened to less is more?
  • What happens when you run into your child’s teacher on the sand, sans briefs? The next time it’s parent interviews, things could get a little awkward.
  • Flossing is the dance craze your kids do – not a beach fashion style. By all means go skinny dipping with your little ones in the home pool, but it’s a whole different ball game when you’re out and about.
  • You might fall on a rock or get stung by a jellyfish, on your butt. And when you’re wearing a g-banger you have ZERO protection back there. Safety first, people!

Plus I’m sure your kids are also going to ask you why you forgot to put your swimmers on before coming to the beach, and we ALL know how annoying answering those pesky kid questions can be.


So, dear readers, what do you think about mums wearing bikinis? When you’re in the public with the kids: is it okay to let the bum cheeks fly, or should you keep them tucked away?

Whatever your take on the matter is, just remember it could be worse – you could be around children and wearing these ultra skimpy free-range flap bikini bottoms. Nooo!

Author

Susan is a Sydney based writer and mum of three highly energetic boys who keep her firmly on her toes (and slightly bonkers). When she’s not writing or trying to keep it all together she’s probably reading, watching Netflix or having a sneaky massage.

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