I’d just had my daughter and finally felt like I’d earned my place in the mum club. What I didn’t expect? The commentary … from other mums. The ones who were supposed to get it. Look, maybe they didn’t mean it the way it landed.
Maybe it was hormones (mine or theirs), sleep deprivation, or just genuinely poor word choices. But either way, here are six things said to me after my c-section that had me smiling politely on the outside and absolutely losing it on the inside.
1. “At least your vagina is fine”
Ah yes, thank you for your concern for my vagina. Meanwhile, I’ve got a fresh scar across my stomach, seven layers of stitches, and I couldn’t stand up to pick up my own baby the first night because of the spinal block. But sure, great chat, glad we covered that.
2. “You didn’t really give birth”
I carried my daughter for nine months. I went through labour. I had her cut from my body while I was awake on an operating table. I’m not sure what part of that doesn’t count, but I’d love to hear the logic.
3. “At least you didn’t have a long labour”
I was in labour for almost 24 hours, with around 10 hours of contractions. But yes, let’s pretend I just popped in for a quick in-and-out. Also – are we handing out trophies for longest labour now? Because I’d like to nominate myself for other categories.
4. “You took the easy way out”
Being cut open while conscious, stitched back together through multiple layers, and then expected to care for a newborn while your insides literally rearrange themselves. Point me to the easy part. I’ll wait.
5. “I don’t get why you didn’t just keep trying”
Because when you’re told your baby is in distress, you’re exhausted, and your body has hit a hard no – it stops being about trying harder. It becomes about making the safest call for both of you. And it wasn’t your decision to make. It was mine.
6. “As long as she arrived healthy, that’s all that matters”
Now? One hundred percent agree. In those first raw, hormonal, emotional days after birth? It felt like my experience was being wiped away with one sentence. I was allowed to feel grateful and still grieve the birth I thought I’d have. Both things can be true at the same time.
What comments got under your skin after you gave birth? Drop them below, because I have a feeling I’m not alone in this.
Brig x
