Humour

The 12 Types of Husbands: Which One/s Are You Married To?

Husbands. They are a barrel of laughs, aren’t they? But which type of man-folk are you really married to? Who are you raising your kids with? Slack Jack? Skillful Will? Man-Child Mark?

We’ve searched far and wide to uncover the various types of husbands out there. The good, the bad, the terrible at housework… we’ve got them all!

So let’s have a look at the different husbands out there – which one is most like your own hunk o’ spunk?

*Disclaimer* No husbands were harmed in the making of this. It’s all just a bit of fun.


The 12 types of husbands

Will

Spends the majority of his time building things in the shed. Low-key afraid of his wife. Takes ages to poop. Cannot make a bed properly if his life depends on it.


Mark

Always steals the blankets. Claims he knows where the laundry room is. Also claims he knows how to change the toilet roll. Yet to prove either of these things.


Jack

Insists on using every single pot in the kitchen when he cooks. Is most likely the youngest of his siblings. Finds farting hilarious. Believes it’s highly possible to die from the man flu.


Ben

Cried at your wedding. Prefers cats over dogs but will never admit it to others. Always turns the lights off in the entire house before bed.


Mike

Stays up late to watch sport. Falls asleep on the couch after three minutes. Doesn’t believe in using a coaster.


Dave

Has a nickname for everyone. Doesn’t own a decent pair of pants. Packs for vacations at the very last second. Doesn’t unpack when he gets home. Ever. Can never find his toothbrush.


Steve

Incredibly proud of his facial hair. Has more apps on his phone than you do. Yells at the TV a lot. Has a lot of opinions on Facebook’s name change.


John

Refuses to throw anything out. Obsessed with his lawn. Hates Kmart with a passion. Also hates Kinetic Sand. Sighs a lot.


Scott

Has T-shirts from the 90s. Will argue all day long that Pluto is still a planet. Still wants to quit his day job and join a band. Doesn’t play a musical instrument.


James

Tells the same dad joke over and over again. Argues with the kids over whose turn it is to play with a new toy. Lets you know anytime he unloads the dishwasher.


Max

Has a collection of protein powder in the pantry. Has been ‘thinking about getting a gym membership’ for six years now. Talks a lot about V8 Commodores. Forgets every family member’s birthday.


Trent

Would rather be fishing right now. Also looks incredibly good naked.


So there you go ladies. Which husband are you sleeping beside tonight?

What to read next

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Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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