Master the Fine Art of ‘Lady Time’ with These Sexpert Tips (NSFW)

A bit of a warning ladies, this content is NSFW. It contains explicit content, talk of women’s sex toys (oh my!) so you should be aged 18yrs+ to view this content.

Check that those rascals of yours aren’t lurking in the background, ready to pounce with the “mummy, what’s that funny pink thingy on your screen?” questions. 

Self-care is a big topic for us, amirite ladies? The juggle, the burnout, the mental load, it’s all very real.

But I’m not here to tell you about typical forms of self-care or debate whether having an uninterrupted hot shower is self-care or basic hygiene. Let’s talk about the ultimate form of self-care, the self lurve kind. Are you with me ladies? *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

So, where to start? Why with your senses of course! And the best one of all is our Lady-C (your clitoris). She has more than 8,000 nerve endings (wweeww!), she doesn’t age (forever in her 20s) and she can get erect during arousal (why hello there, lady boner).

There are many ways of getting down to business, so let’s get jiggy with it.

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The toy story

Not the ones from Pixar. We’re talking about women’s sex toys for solo (and/or partner) play which is known to have numerous psychological benefits including better sleep, aiding relationship satisfaction and boosting body confidence. Yes, thank you!

We’re going to start with a bang with the perfect all-rounder for women’s adult toys. Randy Fox’s Randy Dual Flickering Egg Vibrator is great for both entry-level and sex toy enthusiasts alike. This, my friends, will Blow. Your. Mind. It is crafted for dual stimulation for the G-spot and clitoris. You read that right.

It gives you internal and external play, with 12 vibration functions for the egg and three flicking patterns. You can use it only for external or internal play but we dare you to go all-in for the dual simulation (we know you want to).

Did we mention it’s rechargeable? Round two, ding ding ding!

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Now, if you’re someone who likes to focus all the attention on just Lady-C, I got you. Meet the spicy Zumio E Ebony Pleasure Wave Clitoral Stimulator (below). It looks like a new type of electric toothbrush (great disguise if you ever forget to put it away properly) but it’s oohhhhhh so much more.

The pointed vibrating silicone stick delivers thousands of sensations with its oscillating tip, providing all the good feelings for them 8,000 nerve endings. #winning

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There are a plethora of women’s sex toys out there for any type of intimate self-care you crave; the fun, the thrills, exploration or discovery.

My personal favourite is a women’s sex toy that is versatile in both solo and partner play because we all love a device that can multitask, right?

Caution, slippery when wet!

No, we’re not talking about mopping here, ladies. In this case of self-pleasure, the slipperier, the better! Lubricant is the essential ingredient to enjoying all your sensory play. And honey, if you can’t make your own WAP, store-bought is absolutely fine.

  • Water-based provides realistic lubrication and is compatible with natural rubber, latex and polyisoprene condoms and toys.  It doesn’t stain your sheets and washes off easily.
  • Silicone-based feels like silk sheets, is long-lasting and hypoallergenic. But it’s not so friendly on women’s sex toys and can deteriorate the surface of it, creating abrasions where bacteria can grow.
  • Oil-based is the gift that keeps on giving when it comes to slippery fun. It’s long-lasting, gives additional protection for dry and sensitive tissues and suitable to be used as an intimate massage oil. The only watch-out is that it’s NOT condom compatible. All the better to stick strictly to solo play aka self-care, yay!

There are variations of lubricants that provide extra sensations too, like Sensuva ON Arousal Oil Lubricant. Apparently “a couple of drops in the morning, and you’ll be thinking about tonight all day”. Sign me up, please.

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Fun-sized sex ed

Sex edutainment (education plus entertainment) is way more fun than sex-ed during school PE class ever was! Feed your curiosities or fantasies with easy-to-swallow nuggets (all the puns intended) of highly visual social media content.

My recommendations are:

  • Leisurely browse through some fine-as works of erotic art to sail you into the mood for self lurve later. Or order some prints for your personal space at home, most likely the wardrobe where the kids won’t see it.
  • Adult-colouring books can be a fun way to set the mood too.
  • Make a personal Instagram collection and save all the posts you fancy in there, I won’t tell if you won’t (wink).

Pro tip: I tend to ‘save’ a post instead of liking it, in case anyone I know stumbles across the same post or account, your handle won’t show up on it, exposing that you’ve ‘Liked’ it. I don’t need people seeing my personal affairs like that, thank you.

So yes, S.E.X. content is right there where you scroll through your Instagram feed. GASP whilst clutching my “pearls”.

woman lying on bed in underwear

Hit me baby one more time

For the music lovers (and dancers) regardless of what genre or tempo you like, music will set the pace for the mood you’re feeling. Make a playlist of your sensual songs for your intimate self-care time.

It can be background music to set the vibe, something deep that enhances all your senses or something upbeat to get your sassy-groove on.

Your bangin’ playlist will be a game-changer, so you can do your thang.

Sneaking a peek

If you’re more of an audio and visual queen (yes, women enjoy porn too) and want to find porn where a woman is actually enjoying herself, it’s set in a realistic scene and makes you feel good – do not fear, they exist!

There are many adult entertainment publishers that have female-friendly and ethical porn, which means it does come with a cost; membership, subscription or pay-per-content fees.

Many of them do offer free content or introductory rates with a premium price if you want the AAA (all areas access). But trust me, it’s worth every cent and it helps fund more empowering and better porn for women.

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Women’s sex toys for 10% off (score!) 

Now you have a spread of inspiration for you to go on with your bad/wild/inner self and feel darn good about it!

While you’re at it, treat yourself to 10% OFF all the fun stuff at our friend’s place – Randy Fox, proudly Australia’s best-rated and best-priced retailer (by independent sources) providing tasteful and playful experiences to spice up the sex lives of Australians.

shop now

This is a sponsored post for Randy Fox

Avatar of Miss Chief

Miss Chief could be any member of the Mum Central team - in fact she actually is! The truth is that this writer doesn't want her Dad to read her thoughts on 'deep penetration', her kids to google and find her smiling face next to 'I lost my orgasm' and her mum to know anything (at all!) about her ladybits. Miss Chief pulls no punches, speaks the truth and allows Mum Central to cover all the nitty gritty that we love to share - without the author needing a permanent disguise for school pick up!

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