Constance Hall brought ‘reconnecting with your partner’ to the forefront of social media discussions this week with her undie-selfie-share…

We laughed at her sass and then we sat back and thought about it – we should all be working on our relationships… Here’s some simple tips to keep your most important partnership on the boil….

Being together a long time can work against you. Let’s face it, there’s not a hell of a lot of mystery going on is there? Add in a few kids, a few births, hundreds of tired late nights and the realities of family life, well, marriage can really fall off our radar. Of course, as you read this you’re probably thinking, ‘heck, she’s right!’ and immediately trying to scramble for some ideas to reinvest in your partnership.

Well, stop thinking and read on. Here’s our 10 tips for reconnecting with your partner! 

1. Make a date

It sounds simple doesn’t it? But add children, a busy workload, sickness and tiredness to the mix and somehow this simple act becomes a massive task. But it doesn’t have to be. Date night doesn’t even have to involve leaving home. Grab your favourite take away, download a movie, and cuddle on the couch. No excuses needed.

2. Get physical

No I’m not talking about S.E.X I’m talking about working out with your partner. One of our favourite things to do, pre-babies, was to take a nice long walk together after work. That promptly stopped after the kids came along, after all, there is nothing relaxing about trying to bribe a toddler to stay in their pram while you try and find your inner zen. Schedule in a babysitter, and pop on your runners, and make it a priority to work out with your partner. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

3. Switch off

Not from each other of course! But switch off your phones, laptops, iPads, at night. Pick a tech-free switch off time and stick to it. You might find you actually strike up a conversation, if you don’t have Facebook to scroll through!

4. Make out

When was the last time you had a good pash? Yeah I thought so. Well you’re not alone. A study revealed one in five married couples go without kissing for as long as a week at a time (2011, British Heart Foundation). That’s 7 whole days without locking lips with the love of your life. Set yourself a goal, a kiss before bed each night, or first thing in the morning. It doesn’t have to take the romance out of it, but it might just make it a habit again.

5. Be honest

I am as guilty as the next person when it comes to not always speaking my mind, but where does this silent act actually get you? Nowhere! If something is upsetting you then speak up! Resentment is what will follow if you don’t, and that is a huge relationship killer.

6. Write a love letter

My husband and I were huge for love letters when we were younger, especially when we experienced a long distance relationship. Sometimes you feel more comfortable putting your feelings or thoughts on paper, and what a lovely thing it is to look back on down the track.

7. Treat yourself

As mums, we often put our own needs last, making us less likely to want to be intimate with our partners. Stop being a martyr and book in that blow dry, waxing, nail appointment. Or splurge on a new dress. Taking time for you, will help you to boost your confidence and reconnect with your partner.

8. Send a naughty text

Ok I’m a massive prude, so my idea of naughty might not be yours, but there’s nothing like reigniting a bit of fire through a bit of sexy talk. Stick with what you feel comfortable with (maybe think about what you might like to receive) and you won’t go wrong.

9. Sit down with your partner and look at old photo albums together

Remembering the amazing times you have already shared together can help you to refocus on what still lies ahead.

10. Speaking of which, you should write a plan

It doesn’t have to be anything too detailed, but working out what you both want in your future together as a family can really reconnect you and re-establish your bond, and help you to set goals for yourselves and your family.

So, there you go. Our top ten tips for reconnecting with your partner, that lovely person you fell for, before those little bundles of joy burst onto the scene. It’s worth the investment, so we dare you, which one will you try today?

Photo via CONSTANCE HALL: You can follow Queen Constance on facebook or purchase her book online.

Author

I'm Erin Giansiracusa, mum to three beautiful boys aged 6,4 and 2. Expecting baby number 4 in January. My pre-baby life saw me read the news for the Hamish and Andy show, nationally, for 5 years. My post-baby life sees me writing on my lap top, in my pjs, with a half empty cold cuppa next to me.

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