Cleaning up toys, picking rice crackers from the backseat and breaking up sibling skirmishes wears you down. Being a mum is not like being a babysitter or a beloved grandparent.

No, you don’t get to unwind in a quiet, immaculate home at the end of the day. Your little angels follow your everywhere, keep you busy and invade the moments when you want to relax.

The Problem

Some ladies seem to effortlessly flaunt their sexy side in full mum mode. The rest of us struggle. Being a mum is damned hard work, but you can kick every challenge in the butt. Unleash your inner superwoman to unite the two faces of yourself, the huggable mummy and the sexy siren who turns heads and keeps her husband tied to the bed. Yes, say hello to the woman you’ve been ignoring for years. Get reacquainted.

The Solution

The cardinal rule of being a sexy, sexed-up mum is cutting yourself some slack and carving out a nice piece of personal time. You might think that getting down when the kids are asleep is irresponsible. Get those crazy notions out of your head, girl! The things that you do for yourself and your husband will help you do a better job and be a nicer person. If you’re ready to make the leap, follow this proven playbook for making your sexy side shine a little brighter and come out more often.

1. Dress Your Sexy New Body

On a mum body, things aren’t where they used to be. Don’t dress for your former self. Dress for the new, sexy you. Buy a flattering dress or a hot pair of pants that show off your curves. We love accessories. Purchasing a cute pair of shoes or splurging on a fab handbag is the perfect way to put a spring in your step. New accessories and clothing purchases are attitude boosters that can spice up other parts of your life.

2. Pamper Yourself

Let’s face it. Your schedule won’t allow you to spend hours at a salon or spa. Neither will your budget. Compromise by setting aside time to pamper yourself from head to toe. Get a new bottle of nail polish in a fun colour. Take a long, relaxing bubble bath. Make sure to exfoliate, shave your legs and put on a luxurious lotion. Porcupine legs definitely aren’t sexy. There’s one handsome man who will check out your smooth pins later tonight.

3. Flirting

Some things can’t be said in front of the kids, but they sound great in a sexy email or erotic text. Flirt with your spouse during the day, and you’ll be looking forward to something other than putting your feet up after a long day at work.

4. Underneath It All

Sexy undies for her and a wild banana hammock for him can be your little secret. Turn up your sex appeal by wearing delicate lingerie that makes you feel great all day. You’ll be extra excited when you remember who gets to take it off your hot body.

5. Banish the Flannel Nightgown

Mums wear unflattering nightgowns. Sexy mums wear sensuous chemises, baby dolls, see-through negligees or nothing at all. If you need to cover up, that’s what robes are for! Handsome men also like to don sexy, chest-bearing sleepwear on occasion. Who doesn’t enjoy a little eye candy before bed or early in the morning?

6. Good Reads

How many times can you read “The Very Hungry Caterpillar?” Probably enough to set a record, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t read a grown-up book once in a while. If you haven’t read an erotic novel, give it a try. Since “Fifty Shades of Grey” became a best-seller, more books are including stimulating plot lines and steamy passages that will get your blood flowing and your imagination roaring.

7. In the Mood

When you lock the bedroom door, you should be transported to your own magical adult playground. Making the transition from mum to the master of the bedroom can be a little tricky. Kindle the atmosphere with a full-body massage or a fun striptease. Talk dirty. Play some chill music, or experiment with sex toys or a blindfold. Your kids play with toys all the time. You can have fun too!

8. Get Fit

Working out is a great way to use your personal time to feel good physically and mentally. Mums who work out have more energy and more self-esteem. You could attend a yoga class, spend time at the gym or work out at home with a video. You’ll get a rush from the feel-good endorphins immediately. As you progress, you can encourage yourself by achieving milestones, dropping a few pounds or fitting into clothes that are a size smaller. The ultimate reward is when your man says, “Babe, you look so hot.”

Being and feeling sexy is a mindset. Doing a few of the actions above should get you into this zone, and once you’re there just remember you are still the wild, adventurous, spontaneous sexy woman that you were in your pre-mum era!


Elle Black is a mother, lover and entrepreneur, she knows a thing or two about intimacy, relationships and sex as the founder of Mimi De Luxe, an online designer adult boutique. Elle writes about improving your sex life (especially after kids!) and offers advice on bringing toys into your relationship at

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