We love our children to the moon and back. But we also all have those days when we are thisclose to packing a bag and escaping to an uninhabited island. Alone.
Why? Because, sometimes our kids drive us batsh*t crazy.
If you’re having one of those bad mum days, then here are a few affirmations to repeat to yourself. Most likely while hiding in the bathroom, pretending to poo just so you can have a moment of peace.
1. It’s only mess.
Baby spew can be cleaned off the carpet. Crayons can be scrubbed off the wall. Half broken battery operated toys can be secretly binned after they go to bed.
2. It’s just a phase.
This too, shall pass. Probably into an equally challenging phase, but, hey, that’s cool. Challenges are fun.
3. You’ve got this.
And, if not, your husband comes home in X number of hours and you can pass the kidlets off to him while you make a bee line for the shower.
4. At least your children aren’t as awful as Caillou.
Even on the worst of the worst days, they can’t be as annoying as Caillou.
5. You will get your revenge one day.
Probably on their 18th. And it will be glorious.
6. There’s no such thing as a perfect parent.
Only perfectly filtered insta-photos.
7. (Pre)school is coming.
Six solid hours of ‘me time’.
8. You have chocolate hidden in the pantry.
Just begging to be eaten. After they go to bed, of course.
9. They have to pass out at some stage.
Even the wildest toddlers crash and succumb to sleep. Eventually.
10. Wine is a bona fide parenting tool.
Use it. Plus, it’s actually good for you. Well, some studies claim so at least.
11. One day you’ll be the one in nappies.
And they will have to change you! The ultimate revenge.
12. At least there’s only one of them.
Or two if it’s twins. Or three if you’re blessed with triplets.
Most likely not more than three though…
13. Sleep ins are overrated anyway.
Getting up to see the sun rise is how all the cool mums role.
14. iPads were invented for a reason.
That reason is toddlers.
15. Tomorrow is another day.
And, let’s be honest, it can’t be any worse than today.
Yes, bad days suck, especially when you’re trying to raise tiny humans. But remember, we all have bad days. And so do our kids. It’s easier to laugh them off than let them get you down. And when you are ready to lose the plot, just remember the above affirmations.
And be grateful you’re not Caillou’s mum.
