How to Get A Better Night’s Sleep and Other Funny Mum Stories from Elle Macpherson

Hells bells, Elle! This Aussie icon is one smokin’ mama. Luscious locks, radiant skin and legs that go on for days. Not to mention a brilliant entrepreneur, active ambassador for numerous charities AND a mum of two.

Even more mind blowing (hold on to your cuppa, ladies), can you believe our Elle is now 54?!! ‘The Body’ has kindly shared her New Year’s ‘Solutions’ with us. And high up on her list is getting some more beauty sleep.

Sounds easy, right? Wrong my beautiful, lady crush.

I know that there was once a time in my life that I thought if I just kept slapping on the fake tan and squeezing lemon juice in my hair over summer, I might capture a little of Elle’s glow. But, there is a reason Elle is a supermodel and I am tucked away here behind my keyboard. Alas, I still feverishly clicked on her recent Get The Gloss column to learn her words of wisdom.

Model Elle Macpherson and son Cy Busson
A make-up free and still drop-dead-gorgeous Elle and her very genetically blessed son, Cy Busson, 16. Image Source: Instagram

It’s simple. Get a good night’s sleep

Oh, sorry my darling Elle. I appreciate we are at veeeerrrryyy different stages in our lives. I am wrestling kids off screens, force feeding chopped fruit, nagging about school readers, scraping uneaten dinners into the bin and bursting into rooms and then forgetting why I am even there.

But you, Elle? Your kids are young men now. I assume they brush their own teeth and dress themselves. Possibly in a different wing of your palatial home. I picture you in your evening face mask, listening to the babble of a brook as you meditate on the day that is past (*breathe in, hold, exhale) and looking toward that day which is the future. Yes. Forgive me, I am stereotyping. Really, I am just jealous. BUT… the point is, we are floating in different spheres.

According to Elle, a solid seven hours of ‘beauty sleep’ is a must. She says this requirement is a “scientific fact.” Yes, I bloody want a solid seven hour block of sleep. I NEED it. I fantasise about it. It is not even about the shedding (*blurgh) of skin cells that occurs when we sleep, or the precious nocturnal skin repair that apparently goes down in the dark. Nope. It is the basic ache of absolute exhaustion that screams through my skull. Sleep is my holy grail, my cocktail on a deserted beach, my absolute DREAM (*ironic much?).

Yes, I would like to get a ‘good night’s sleep’. But here’s the catch. I have kids.

my baby won't sleep

Elle’s 3 step routine to a better night’s sleep

Brace yourselves. If you do want to be a little more Elle and a little less frazzled mama, here’s what you need to do.

1. Brew yourself a cuppa

Not a cheeky nightcap. Not just a Lipton’s teabag. Rather, Elle recommends her schmancy brand of Sleep Well Calming Tea. NOT that cup of tea that you have microwaved twice during your epic battle to get the kids to stay in their beds. NOT that cup of coffee that you really know you shouldn’t have, but you just need something to help keep your eyes open to get the paperwork sorted when the kids finally go to sleep. And sadly, NOT that cheeky proscecco which is matched perfectly with your latest MAFS fix. Booooo.

2. Next, simply spritz your pillow with Elle’s calming mist.

People, just the word ‘spritz’ makes me happy! But as for my real world? Sometimes I find myself actually making the bed in order to get into it. (Ooops… missed that one in the school drop off haze.) The pillow is sadly sagging in the middle and I know it really needs a wash but, yeah, well, I’ll get to it on the weekend. **Hot tip : A desperate zap of Glen 20 does NOT have the desired effect of a light spritz of lavender. Don’t have $52 to drop on Elle’s pillow concoction? Grab these mum-friendly aroma mists next time you’re weaving through the supermarket in a sleep-deprived fog and spritx without worrying about how you’re going to pay next term’s dance fees!

3. Mind still racing? Whack the pins up on the wall.

For real? Uh-huh. Do you ever find yourself lying there wondering if you remembered to place the kids’ school photos order online, or if that birthday party is this Saturday or Sunday morning, or if that is rain starting and you didn’t bring the washing in? Here’s your answer. Elle likes to lie on her back, pop her feet up on the wall and stretch her arms out. Five minutes of that and Elle is out for the count. In our house, if you are lucky enough to start to drift off into that lovely little land of Nod, the games begin!

“Muuuuuuuuuummmmm. I knocked my water bottle over.”

“Mum, Mum, Mum. I need a weeeeeeeeee!!!”

“Mummmmmyyyy. I had a bad dream.”

A solid 7 hours a night, Elle?

Not me. Not yet. Maybe one day.

If like me, you are desperate for more sleep, it is time to check out these must try tricks for helping kids sleep better so you can too. And if all else fails, there’s always these beauty hacks that help mums fake sleep.

Sleep tight!!

Avatar of Anna Brophy

Self proclaimed salted caramel expert and champagne taster, Anna might be heard shrieking at her kids to "hold on with both hands" at a Melbourne playground near you. She lives with her son, daughter and cycling obsessed husband, and dreams of one day writing books in a little cottage, in front of a big window, beside the beach.

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