Humour

Grandma’s Hilarious Ranking Board is as Brutal as it Gets!

Parents are meant to love their children equally. But grandparents, well, it’s a whole new ballgame.

Just ask New Jersey grandma Mary La Morte who not only plays favourites with her 10 grandkids but proudly showcases which ones are leading the pack on any particular week. 

The grandkid ranking board 

Mary’s grandchild ranking board reached viral status thanks to her grandson, comedian Dan La Morte who gave his readers a glimpse inside grandma’s house.

grandma's ranking board
Source: TikTok

On her wooden ranking board, there are 10 pictures of her 10 grandkids with magnets on the back. She can then move the grandkids’ pictures around based on how much she ‘loves’ them that day. 

Of course, if you do something good, up you go. And if you do something bad, grandma isn’t afraid to push you down the list.

As Dan explains in the viral video on TikTok,

“She has a board of the 10 grandchildren’s faces on magnets and she ranks us from one to 10.  I’m currently at No. 4, this is the highest I’ve been.

But I did just get two new tattoos … so I’m a bit nervous about what that’s going to do for my ranking.”

After he shows Mary, 85, his new ink, she gasps in horror and promptly moves his magnet to the last place.

It is GOLD! The video is below if you wanna watch Mary in action. 

@danlamorte My ranking on my grandma’s leaderboard after showing her my new tattoos 👵🏻❤️‍🩹😩 #savage #funnyvideo #family #familyvideo #funny #grandma #grandmavideo #lmfao #familything #familyfun #familyfeud #grandparents #tattoo #ranking #rankingstuff #funnygrandma #familycomedy #cousins #cousinsgoals ♬ original sound – Dan LaMorte


Granny goes viral

After Dan’s video went viral, Grandma Mary had a small change of heart and pushed Dan up to the #3 position – his best position yet. 

“Nanny is excited about being an internet star. She’s giving me credit for that,” Dan told TODAY Parents. “The day after the TikTok went viral, she went and got her hair and nails done.”

Who takes out the top grandchild spot for Grandma Mary? That would be cousin Jacqueline who bought a house across the street from Grannie and does a lot to help her out. Golden Grandchild for sure. 

Dan then explains where the other grandchildren usually rank. Gianna is a firm favourite like Jacqueline while Ariana is at the bottom because “she’s got a lot of tattoos.”

Jessie was a golden child until she moved to California and now she “floats in the middle.”

“Being married and having a kid will get you moved up,” Dan shared. “But if you have a kid and you’re not married, that will get you bumped down, which is what happened to Tanya.  

Dan said the wooden ranking board has been hanging in Mary’s home for about five years and that she definitely takes it seriously. 

Of course, Dan’s received a bit of hate from people suggesting “grandparents can’t rank their grandkids.” 

“Hey, we’re all adults,” Dan replied, “It’s her way of making sure we check in with her. Tough love is definitely her thing.” 

Amen. I don’t care how terrible it is, this is #GrandmaGoals and I WILL be adopting this ranking board when I have grandkids. Heck, I’m thinking about starting one now for my own kids.

Maybe then they’d actually start unloading the dishwasher. 

Grandma’s adventure box

Grandparents come up with the best ideas, don’t they? Just check out this grandma’s awesome adventure box. For Christmas, instead of giving her grandkids toys or money, she gifted them with 12 envelopes, each filled up with a different “adventure” to do during the year (one adventure a month).

The adventures ranged from tickets to sports games to movie tickets, to tokens to spend at the arcade. Such a cool idea, right? Check out how you can make your own here. 

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Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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