Why does everyone assume you’re done after 3 kids?

Everyone loves to have an opinion about your kids. Especially how many you have.

The thing is, the number of babies you have isn’t anyone else’s business. Yet everyone loves to pass judgement anyway.

No matter where you are on your family-building journey, here are some favourites you’ve probably heard from family, friends and complete strangers.

Before kids:

“Tick tock. You don’t want to wait too long!” “You haven’t got forever you know.” “You want to get started if you want more than one.” “What are you waiting for?” And a personal favourite: “Are you trying?” How do you even answer that inappropriate question? “Yes, Great-Auntie Mavis, we had a good long crack at it last night, I’ll let you know the outcome in about 4 weeks”. However they ask it, the underlying message is: you better get breeding.

After one kid:

You barely seem to have that first fresh newborn in your arms when it starts again. “When’s the next one?” “You don’t want to wait too long.” “You don’t want too big a gap between them.” “It would be nice for Baby One to have a sibling.” And a special first baby favourite: “you don’t want a spoilt only child.” Actually yes, we do, that’s exactly what we’re aiming for here.

After two kids:

This one depends on which sex you already have. If you have hit that apparent parenting jackpot of a boy and a girl, well done youThe  “you must be done now,” comments will start to flow. If you have apparently lucked out on the parenting jackpot by having two of the same gender it changes tact. “Will you keep trying for (insert which ever gender you didn’t manage to make on the first two tries)?” “It would be nice for mum to have a little girl/dad to have a little boy.” Here’s a heads up: mums like little boys and little girls. So do dads. It’s called loving your kids.

After three kids:

You must be done now. Except if you still haven’t got your breeding shit together and now have 3 boys/girls. “Will you keep trying?” A personal favourite: “you must be done now, you didn’t need that last one.” Someone actually said this to me. While I was holding newborn number 3. Who surprisingly, we did kind of want.

After four kids:

Nothing. But there is a silent undercurrent of what is wrong with you? And occasionally: “do you have a TV?”

Ah parenting. Everyone has an opinion on what’s right for you and your family – even if you didn’t ask! And if you’re thinking about adding more to the family, you might want to look at our article about how kids ruin your looks!

Author

Mum of three country kids. Part time psychologist, writer and aspiring children's author. Believes that happiness comes from being grateful, being surrounded by people who support and inspire you, and being brave enough to be yourself.

Write A Comment