Iso life has us believing we can do anything on the DIY front, does it not? So if you had fire pit building on your list, you’re going to want to tune into this mum’s hilarious pictorial tribute, aptly named “How to build a fancy-a*s fire pit for laymen”. Trust me, you’ll be nodding in agreement and fits of laughter.
If ever you wondered how hard can it be? Before heading to the Bunnings car park, might I suggest you quickly run your eye over Meagan Frances’ Facebook post?
It’s a stellar line up of visual prompts to building a fire pit and every DIY parent will be able to relate to this dose of real-life DIY caper. Or even every wife with a husband who’s watched The Block once and thinks he can nail it in an afternoon. Ugh. Send wine.
Meagan’s Facebook post is pure gold, but for those who want the highlights, scroll on below to see!
REAL LIFE: How to build a fancy-a*s fire pit
Step 1. Buy a *LOT* of bricks.
Step 2. Don’t forget the kid’s pool and be laughed at by real-life tradies.
Step 3. Choose a safe distance from the house. Because FIRE IS DANGER. Make a circle and remove the ‘helpful’ toddler.
Step 4. Throw out your back trying to create something to bring a CALM AND BLISS TO YOUR LIFE.
Step 5 . Entertain the toddler with anything on hand while cursing about a brick calculation mishap. Sh*t.
Step 6. Level dirt and beg strangers to HELP YOU GOSH DARNIT.
Step 7. Empty the kids’ sandpit sand into your fire pit base because you are NOT going back to the hardware place. YOU HAVE PRIDE.
Step 8. Remember the toddler. Check in on them to prevent them becoming ‘helpful’.
Step 9. Chisel vents from stone like a caveman. Scream bloody murder so loud that the neighbour’s tune in for the show. Bite tongue from not saying ‘I told you so’ re: safety glasses.
Step 10. Play Tetris with the bricks to a patience-testing level. Make it work because remember, you’re NOT going back to the store.
Step 11. Sit back and be smug AF about your fancy a*s fire pit. High five yourself on the way to the shower.
Step 12. Pour the wine, open the marshmallows and tell your significant other about how the build was DEAD EASY. Pfffffft. #isolife
And that folks, is how you build a fire pit. So, who’s up for a little fire pit DIY this weekend? Spoiler alert: NOT ME.