Think your children have come up with every single excuse in the book as to why they need to delay bedtime?

Let’s find out for sure.

Test your child’s argumentative skills with our inaugural bedtime quiz.

Simply check off how many of these bedtime excuses your kids have used this week. Count them up at the end to reveal your child’s sleep-stealing status. And make sure you share your results in the Facebook comments or below.

The mums whose children come up with the most bedtime excuses win!

bedtime excuses

Let the bedtime excuses begin!

  • “I don’t like these pyjamas.” 
  • “The blanket is itching me.”
  • “I’m too cold.” 
  • “Now I’m too hot.”
  • “You didn’t turn the air conditioning on.”
  • “My eyes won’t stay shut.”
  • “I have the hiccups.”
  • “I’m thirsty.” 
  • “And hungry.”
  • “I have to pee. And poop.” 
  • “I need you to wipe my bum.” 
  • “But I am not tired.”
  • “I had a sleep today.”
  • “I shut my eyes in the car today.” 
  • “The blanket is facing the wrong way.”
  • “I can hear the television.”
  • “My hair hurts.”
  • “I forgot to tell you something…”
  • “I forgot what I needed to tell you.”
  • “It’s too dark.”
  • “Now it’s too bright.”
  • “I have to cough.”
  • “I didn’t say goodnight to every single one of my toys.”
  • “The fan is too loud.”
  • “I forgot to feed the fish.”
  • “There’s a bump in my blanket.”
  • “I heard something.”
  • “I need a band-aid.”
  • “Only my legs are sleepy.”
  • “I need another story.”
  • “I can’t sleep unless I’m in your bed.”
  • “You closed my door too much.”
  • “I’m scared.”
  • “I need you.”
  • “Something is touching my foot.”
  • “I left my ball outside.”
  • “The neighbour is talking too loud.”
  • “A dog is barking.”
  • “My imaginary friend won’t stop talking to me.”
  • “I have to wash my face.”
  • “There’s a bug on the wall.”
  • “The blinds just moved.”
  • “My pillow smells funny.”
  • “I can’t find my teddy.”
  • “My other 53 stuffed animals won’t help me fall asleep.”
  • “The sky is awake…” Thanks a lot, Frozen.

Where does your child stack up?

0-10 Points: Basic Bedtime Bandit

Your child has a good understanding of bedtime excuses and shows real potential to improve. With some time and practice your child will have no issues reaching the next level and delaying bedtime in a more consistent manner.

10-25 Points: Next Level Sleep-Dodging Ninja

At this stage your child is able to delay bedtime on many different levels. Your child demonstrates an excellent grasp of pushing your buttons and testing your patience. Your child is motivated to succeed at ruining your nighttime routine on a regular basis.

25+ Points: Master of Midnight Mayhem 

Your child shows a high level of concentration, commitment and creatively when it comes to making sure you NEVER EVER GET TO SLEEP AT A DECENT HOUR. This is true dedication. You should be proud.

Congratulations mum! Your child is the official winner of the bedtime game. And, because you are his mum, you win too.

What do you win? Bragging rights, of course! And our permission to indulge in an extra glass of wine tonight. Because you can’t spell wine without win!

And you can’t spell “go the f*ck to sleep before I shoot you with a tranquilliser dart” without having your child ask you 87 questions about tranquilliser darts before he shuts his eyes…

Let’s face it. Bedtime battles can be hard. But it’s all part of the fun of being a parent. Whether your kids are Basic Bedtime Bandits or Midnight Mayhem Masters, check out these four tips on getting a better night’s sleep.

No tranquilliser dart necessary.

Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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