Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but, a sperm ring is where it’s at if you’re a dad. Well, for this dad at least.
A father-of-five preparing for a vasectomy has gone to the internet to ask for help in designing a very special piece of jewellery to honour the snippy-snip. What’s he after?
Well, you know how you can get breast milk rings as a way to commemorate your breastfeeding journey? It’s sort of like this. But, you guessed it, with semen.
Say goodbye to your balls and hello to sperm rings
The anonymous dad headed to website, Bark to put in a request, asking the community to help him find a jeweller who specialises in sperm.
Of course, this isn’t a thing. But, hey, it very well could be in the future. After all, you can make jewellery out of lots of organic materials, such as human ashes, umbilical cords, and breast milk. Semen could be next. The desperate dad is even willing to fork out $3000 to have his sperm immortalised in jewellery.
As he explains,
I know this is super weird, but I’m due to get a vasectomy at the end of November, and I wanted to do something funny with the last few living sperm I’ve got, kind of like a keepsake of my manhood.”
But wait, it gets even better. Because this isn’t just a vasectomy gift for him. It’s a gift for his wife. You know, kind of like a push present. But made out of semen.
The plan is to give the ring to my wife on Christmas day, wait for her to tell me it’s beautiful, let her wear it for a couple of hours, and then tell her what it’s actually made of … “
I mean, who wouldn’t want a ring made out of your partner’s spunk?
Here honey, wear my sperm on your finger. Forever.
The dad then goes on to explain that he and his wife are big fans of prank gifts and this sticky surprise would take the cake.
Don’t think I’m a complete nutter, my wife and I have been together for more than 20 years now, have five kids (hence the vasectomy haha!) and since day one we’ve been pulling pranks on each other with quirky presents – this will hopefully be the best one yet though.”
And here we thought the traditional 20th-anniversary present was platinum…
Looking for more ways to commemorate the snip? Why not throw a Balls Voyage Party, as this hilarious wife did?
Even more spunky jewellery ideas
Oddly enough, strange jewellery is actually one of our favourite things to write about. Have a look at some of these other classic pieces that perfectly complement a sperm ring.
- Yes, Penis Jewellery is Now a Fashion Must-Have, Thanks to YSL
- Swear Word Jewellery: For Mums Who Like Swearing But Also Like Pretty Things
- Vagina Nails and Other Weird Vagina Trends