When I think of what ‘being a good wife’ means, is it dinner on the table, well-behaved kids and sexy lingerie? Nope, nope and nope.

The real Wife of the Year Award 2017 goes straight to Kimberley Hemperly. She threw her husband a hilarious “Balls Voyage” party to celebrate his vasectomy.

Yep, she really did. Some may choose to keep these things private, but Kimberley is shouting it from the rooftops because after two c-sections, “omg y’all nobody is more excited about this than me”.

“We feel like two is plenty for us. We were lucky enough to be blessed with one of each and we know sometimes that isn’t always the case,” Kimberly tells Babble.

 So what does a ‘Balls Voyage’ party entail exactly?

Well, first of all you obviously need to have your killer outfits lined up. Kimberley paired her husband’s ‘Time to retire the swim team’ t-shirt with matching ‘Swim team survivor’ t-shirts for their two kids. Noice.

Balls voyage vasectomy party outfits

Then there’s the food…

Basically you want to go for a not-so-subtle penis and balls theme when you’re throwing a vasectomy party. Think bananas, jelly beans, frozen peas, meatballs and my personal favourite, ‘Ding Dongs’. For an Aussie variation, ‘little boy’ frankfurters would work particularly well.

Balls voyage vasectomy party food

Finally, what’s a party without cake?

Kimberley opted for a cream frosted tower, complete with buttercream sperm, a fondant ‘Snip, Snap’ and even a tombstone cake topper for added laughs.

Balls voyage vasectomy party cake

Chuck in a few appropriately awesome vasectomy party hashtags – #teamnomorebabies #snipsniphooray and #recreationaluseonly are pretty funny. Then make sure to finish the whole thing off with a scissor emoji (listen as guys everywhere collectively wince and cross their legs).

Of course, there is another way to make sure babies are off the cards – kick those sexy times to the kerb. That’s what Pink did when she confessed to having a year without sex recently,

Author

Originally from the UK, but now very much at home on the sunny NSW Central Coast, Sarah is mum to 18-month-old Freddy. When she's not writing, you'll find her at the beach, chasing Freddy at high speed, or drinking tea and eating cake whilst thinking about going to the gym.

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