It’s true … love really hurts … and we have the evidence to prove it! For anyone fumbling their way through their bedroom antics or being overtly adventurous, rest assured we are not immune from bonking blunders. That’s right, the survey results are in, revealing Australia’s most common painful sex injuries and positions. Ouch!
Sex injuries are a thing
There’s merit in kissing and telling folks. Not only can it act as a warning to others, but if you’re curious to know just how this nitty gritty data is collected, you can rest assured it’s from someone who knows sex best. Sex toy juggernaut LoveHoney, a ‘global leader in sexual happiness’, has come to the table with their 2022 Sex Survey.
It’s reported that the popular brand surveyed over 1000 Australians to quiz them on their between-the-sheet catastrophes and we can only imagine that the detailed survey responses made for hilarious (yet mildly sympathetic) reading. Not surprisingly, 42% of Aussies have experienced an injury as a result of bumping bodies.
It may or may not surprise you that it’s ladies who clock painful injuries the most, with 47% of us having dealt with accidental pain in the bedroom, while only 33% of men said the same. The mind boggles.
Now if you thought it must be the older generation of survey respondents who were more susceptible to sex-related injuries, get ready for it … i’s the 25–35-year-old age bracket to record the most sex injuries, with a huge 66% of respondents.
The most hazardous positions, say what?
Prepare to have your mind blown with the top three injury-inducing sex positions revealed. Rear entry ‘doggy style’ position, topsy turvy ‘69’ position and (surprisingly) the missionary position are our most hazardous sexual positions. I mean, REALLY?
And if you thought you could keep things clean with a quick nookie in the shower, it’s best avoided. Slippery when wet in every sense of the word, with one in four Australians having endured sex injuries in wet areas!
Secondly, if you’re strictly only having sexual relations in the safety of your bed, you should probably note that more than half of Australians have broken their bed frame doing the deed, leading to injury.
The most common sex injuries
So what ARE the most common sexy time injuries? In most cases, you can forget rocking up at the hospital emergency room, but there may be some having to come clean with your local pharmacist for advice.
In top position are bruising, which you might not think is that much of a surprise as you run into your bedroom, hitting a toe on the foot of your bed to grab 20 minutes 5 minutes of ‘adult time’. Alas, turns out folks are having a raunchier time than I, according to sexologist Chantelle Otten:
“Bruises can be mild to moderate and occur when capillaries under the skin burst. Hickeys, spanking and rough sex are the most common culprits of bruising.”
Um, yep, so my stubbed toe, doesn’t count, right? Spicy!
Closely following bruising were carpet burn and the ever so annoying Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) which will see your pee reduced to a burning trickle and guzzling cranberry juice like no one’s business. Making up the rest of the top injuries were pulled muscles, vaginal tears, anal tears, twisted ankles, haemorrhoids and back injuries.
Say I love you with first aid
So with the sex injuries there in black and white, there are benefits in keeping a first aid box handy and remember, for the most part, sex should be a pleasure and not pain (or at least of the bad pain variety). Though if you’re aged between your mid-twenties and mid-thirties, proceed with caution!
With all that said and done, I’m off to add a tube of haemorrhoid cream and Deep Heat to my bedside table drawer, just in case.
Feeling brave and daring to share any hilarious tales of bonking blunders? Drop a comment below, promise we’ll be sympathetic!
