Sure, everyone’s mother-in-law can be a little overbearing once in a while, especially when it comes to their grandchildren.
But, at least your mother-in-law isn’t demanding you share breastfeeding duties with her!
This is exactly what is happening to one very irritated mum-to-be. The mum, who is due in November, explains that her mother-in-law has always been incredibly pushy with her latest request sending the exasperated mum over the edge.
‘She may mean well, but she’s bat shit crazy’
“My mother-in-law may mean well but she is bat shit crazy,” the woman explains in the Reddit thread.
“My biggest issue is having no boundaries, my SO (significant other) does not want to confront his mum for fear of her reaction and also does not want me to do it.”
Batshit crazy mother-in-law with no boundaries offering unsolicited and outdated advice? We’ve all been there, right?
But this MIL goes above and beyond.
While Googling breastfeeding tips for her daughter-in-law (who even does this??!!), bat shit crazy MIL discovered that in many cultures, grandmas also help breastfeed their grandbabies. Now, she’s very keen to give it a red hot go – and isn’t taking no for an answer.
As the Reddit user explains,
She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it’s a great idea.
I have told her ‘Gross, No!’ My mom got involved and said no, but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits.”
So. Much. Wrong.
We’ve heard of situations where this has worked. In other cultures, shared breastfeeding help is a common thing and it may not even be THAT weird if both mum and grandma had infants and were producing milk. But this isn’t the case here.
This grandma is in her 60s, not exactly the ideal lactating age. It’s unclear HOW grandma plans to bring the milk in. Maybe she’s been busy googling lactation induction methods. Or perhaps she assumes that the milk will magically appear when she holds her grandchild.
Either way, the new mum, understandably, wants NOTHING to do with it.
I’m beyond done with this woman, but out of respect for my husband I am trying to keep a level head, but I’m starting to fail with my due date fast approaching …”
The fact that this pregnant mumma has kept her cool for THIS long is admirable to say the least! We would have told her where to go ages ago! And we are not the only ones. The Reddit commenters were out in droves, offering practical help on what to do.
First, tell your husband to grow a pair
“Your husband should be the one shutting her down!” one commenter suggested. “He needs to tell his mom to stop. Now.”
“Your husband needs to pull his head out and realise and explicitly tell his mom that she will never be allowed alone with this baby,” a second person added.
Second, tell your MIL to stop Googling and leave it alone
“This is a hill to die on. I’ve heard of MILs using grandchildren as do-over babies but this is ridiculous.”
“From a medical standpoint, once the milk supply dries up, and I would guess hers has, it’s extremely difficult to get it going again. This is creepy, weird, and has ‘the hand that rocks the cradle’ written all over it.”
“MIL is 60+ and her kitchen is closed. There is no need for granny to volunteer to feed your child. She had her chance to breastfeed her children; now it is your turn.”
And perhaps the most practical grandma breastfeeding help of all:
Perhaps when she brings it up yet again, you should look her in the eye and say, “No, MIL. You will not be nursing my infant. My baby, my breasts, that’s final. Please do not bring this up again.”
What to read next
We’ve actually got a few stories of grandparent faux pas. Here are some more to sink your teeth into: