Experts are predicting a massive baby boom in about nine month’s time thanks to coronavirus. After all, with everyone stuck at home for days, weeks, possibly months on end, what else is there to do but procreate?

But, parents-to-be, please, let’s not commemorate this crazy time in our lives by naming our babies after a virus. Or any of these unusual coronavirus baby names.

It’s time to social distance yourself from these names, STAT!

Disclaimer: No actual baby name was used in the making of this post. I made them all up with my own awesome imagination. So calm ya tits, Karen. It’s just a bit of fun.

12. Quaran-Tine

Like Clementine. Only with a social-distancy twist.

11. Covid

Okay, ladies. I know it’s the trend to think outside the baby name box, and, in other circumstances, Covid would kinda be considered cute. But not today. Probs not tomorrow either.

If you MUST choose a Cov-inspired name, try Cove. No, actually, don’t. It’s still too close.

This may be the case for traditional Cor- names, like Cora, Coral or Corrine, but, this is up to you. We’ll allow them for now.

10. Corrus

What is this you ask? Well, it’s a combination of Corona and Virus. Because that’s what people do now – they make up baby names by combining two words.

Trust me. The world is not ready for this one.

9. Rona

Rona actually means “my joy” in Latin. But we’re pretty sure it means “short for Corona” in Australian.

8. Novel 

Everyone: “Wow, what a unique name. Were your parent’s big readers?”

Novel: “Nup, they named me after a new strain of a virus that literally shut the world down in 2020.”

Everyone:

via GIPHY

7. Kwarantine

It’s just not a baby names list without the token K name. And this one is a Kwacker

6. Pandemic

Unique and edgy, right? That’s a big facepalm from us. Soz, but no way in hell is a kid named Pandemic going to become the next Prime Minister. #VoteforPandemic

5. CeeVee

CeeVee, or CV gets an A+ for creativity. And a lifetime of people asking what were your parents thinking??!

Equally as awful – TeePee, or TP. Three guesses where the inspiration for this one comes from…

4. Iso 

Short for isolation. Obvs.

3. Anoroc

What in holy Nevaeh is this name? It’s Corona spelled backward, of course.

I know, I can see you rolling your eyes and YUP, me too.

2. Nynteen 

What’s the best way to ensure your child has a unique name? Butcher the spelling of course. Using a number instead of an actual name also works. Also choosing a number that is connected to a virus.

This name is 3/3 and I must admit, it’s almost so bad, it’s good. Almost.

But it doesn’t compare to our winning bad coronavirus baby name.

Without further ado, meet baby…

1. Ko’Rona Vyress  

Yup. Hands down the winner. No contest really.

I mean, not only does it misspell BOTH words, but it includes an apostrophe. This is next-level baby name crime, ladies and gents.

So, mums and dads, please switch off from the news when searching for baby name inspiration. I know being stuck at home is making everyone a little stir crazy, but there’s no need to bestow your baby with this level of nutbag-ness. Trust us – they will thank you later.

The last thing society needs is a new crop of baby Ko’Rona Vyresses in nine months’ time.


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Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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