Newsflash: Kids can be little turds. Your kids. My kids. ALL the kids.
Need proof that it’s not just your children that sometimes morph into whinging spawns of Satan?
Behold these delightfully cringe-worthy funny parenting photos that will confirm kids can be real arseholes when they want to be.
Compiled by Bored Panda, these photos are crafted especially for non-parents, to give them a glimpse into the wonderful world of parenting.
Although it’s a little late for us (after all, if you are reading this you probably already have kids and know the struggles ALL too well), make sure you pass these on to any of your friends or family members who are considering children in the future.
Because it’s only fair we give them adequate warning on what’s ahead.
1. Toileting for two
First rule of parenting? You never pee alone. Ever.
2. Look Ma! A pony
Just when you think your child can’t do anything weirder, he rocks up to your bedroom with a pony.
In full saddle might we add.
3. ‘I Made It Pretty’
Why buy $2 colouring-in books when the kids clearly prefer to scribble all over your $2000 laptop?
4. Calm down, here’s mummy’s phone
Easiest way to stop a tantrum? Hand a toddler your iPhone. And prepare for him to lock it for 44 years.
5. Weekend at Bunnings
What happens when dad takes the kid to Bunnings to give mum a bit of a break.
6. The sock drawer
No explanation needed. But know this – none of these socks match.
7. Married… With Children
How’s this for a real life representation of keeping your marriage afloat after having kids. Well played devil spawn, well played.
8. Mother’s Day meltdown
How pretty does Mum look in her fancy frock and combed hair? Why does she look so nice? Because it’s HER day. The only day of the year JUST FOR HER.
And what’s she doing on HER day? Cutting her daughter’s skirt out of her scooter after she got it caught in the axle wheel. Yep. Pretty much sums up how my Mother’s Days go too.
9. You Gain so Much
A full heart, a happy home, an unwavering sense of gratitude and pride… But you do have to give up A LOT when you become a mum.
At least there’s a mug that encapsulates what you’re missing.
10. Wedding Crasher
Bring your kid to the wedding, they said. It will be cute, they said.
11. Food Fails
Why eat fruit normally when you can eat it like a toddler?
12. Helping your Kid With Her Homework
Mums be like…
13. Why x 115
This smart parent decided to track how many times his child asked WHY in one day. It went well.
14. Rubbish Disposal
How to turn your $50,000 car into a landfill in one week? Have kids.
15. Spew for You
Let’s end on a high note, shall we? Like when your child wants a shoulder ride and then vomits his breakfast all over your head. Fun times. Fun times.
But, of course, ask anyone without kids and you’re going to get the same answer – “My kid will never act like that.”
Yep, that’s what we all said too. Before we found ourselves wandering the streets covered in spew.
It’s not all half-eaten strawberries and missing socks though, right? Of course not! There’s plenty of kisses, cuddles and cuteness along the way. And, for those days that do end in disaster, there’s wine.