Mum’s Drawings of Her Husband’s ‘Useless Nipples’ are the Best Thing Ever

Some people are morning people. They wake up refreshed, happy and ready for another day of wonderfulness.

These people tend to not have kids. Or, if they do have kids, their kids most likely sleep and don’t demand feeds through the entire night.

Mattea Goff is not a morning person. And, after breastfeeding her baby throughout the night, she often wakes up not in the best of moods.

Her husband, on the other hand, is a very cheery chap in the mornings. Recently he asked her why she wakes up so grumpy.

Rather than use her words (or eat him alive), Mattea took the time to illustrate her feelings. And her drawings have won the internet!

A Tale of Two Parents… and Two Useless Nipples

“So this past weekend I was having a hard time finding the words (probably because I haven’t had any sleep) to express to Kris why I’m not in the best of moods first thing in the morning. So I sat down with my coffee and drew him a visual,” Mattea explains on her now-viral Facebook post.

useless nipples drawing

Her first drawing showcases the typical co-sleeping arrangement. Baby snoozing in the bassinet. Mum asleep beside bub and Dad next to mum. With his useless nipples on full display.

Pay attention to the useless nipples. They are a key factor in the story.

useless nipples drawingmum central

Mattea Goff useless nipples drawing

As the night continues, so do the drawings, which showcase that bub has now been moved from the bassinet and is attached to Mum. Making strange sucking sounds, clawing at her chest and spewing on the sheets.

Meanwhile her husband and his useless nipples remain sound asleep.

funny useless nipples drawingMattea finishes her delightful series with a morning shot where bub sleeps in between them, hubby and his useless nipples wake up refreshed and in the mood for a “cuddle”.

And mum looks like she’s been through the wringer.

Useless Nipples Go Viral

As expected, the sleep-deprived mums of social media have spoken and shared Mattea’s relatable illustrations. With more than 216,000 shares and 83,000 comments, it’s clear that Mattea is not alone.

There are countless mums in the same sleepless position, breastfeeding their babies through the night, waking up NOT in the mood for a cuddle and cursing their husbands’ useless nipples.

Looking for more funny parenting moments? Check out 21 of the most awkward, funny and embarrassing drawings by kids ever!

Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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