Are you meeting your mum friends at the park for a bit of outdoor play? Join us for a giggle as we take a look at the different playground mums you’re bound to run into while there.
Which one are you?
*Disclaimer* No playground mums were harmed in the making of this. It’s just for fun so calm down Carol, and play along.
Comes prepared with at least three perfectly prepared Tupperware containers of snacks, all cut up into little shapes. Cheese hearts, star sandwiches, cucumber triangles. #FoodGoals
Has also mastered the fine art of Bento lunch boxes.
Jogs to the playground and opts to do leg lifts and tricep curls on the equipment while her kids play. Joins in on the kids’ game of tiggy and clocks in 87 active minutes on her FitBit during the outing.
Asks to switch picnic tables because the one chosen is too close to the bubbler and her child may be tempted to drink out of it.
Is also pretty sure a cat peed in the sandpit.
Rocks up to the park with glitter in her hair and stickers attached to her arms, plus an armful of animal stuffies that wanted to play too.
Has an endless supply of scrunchies and can recite the names of at least 15 LOL dolls.
Doesn’t know a thing about LOL dolls but can tell you how to successfully get the smell of urine out of your hair. Packs three spare pairs of undies for her sons.
Doesn’t want to admit to Cautious Mum that it wasn’t a cat that peed in the sandpit. It was her kid.
Swears like a sailor but runs a tight ship at home and on the playground. If her kids misbehave on the slippery dip, you’re sure as hell gonna know about it.
Mind the f-bombs. Earmuffs, kids.
“You’re fine” mum
Isn’t too fussed that one of the children just got bowled over by a kid on the swing. Throws a “you’re fine!” from the table and goes back to scrolling Insta and eating most of Tupperware mum’s snacks.
“What day is it” mum
Arrives 45 minutes late with a toddler missing a shoe. Confused she can’t find any of her mum friends until she realises she’s at the wrong bloody park.
“Just got out of bed” mum
Arrives at the playground looking like she’s just come from a fashion shoot. Brushes off the compliment with a laugh and a flick of her freshly cut hair and claim she just got out of bed.
Snaps a selfie as soon as she arrives at the park and checks in on Facebook and Insta. #ParkPlays #blessed
Tags everyone. Except “What day is it” Mum.
Has a runaway toddler who won’t stay on the playground but instead makes a bee-line to the road every 30 seconds. Requests they meet at a fenced-in playground from now on.
Has a whole tribe of kids at the park, most of which are in the corner eating sand. Uses this time to order groceries online and figure out Bookweek costumes.
Actual “just got out of bed” mum
Had a very rough night with the kids. Wears sweatpants and carries coffee. Possibly with a shot of vodka.
Forgot to put on deodorant. Stays 1.5 metres away for ‘social distancing’ purposes.
Leave early mum
Announces that she needs to “leave early” as soon as she arrives. Reminds everyone at least 15 times while at the park. Ends up being the last one there.
Discovers a pair of missing underwear on her way out. Probably Boy Mums.
So, which playground mum are you? I reckon some days I’m Over Energetic Mum while other days I’m “You’re Fine” Mum. Especially if Tupperware Mum packs really good snacks.
What to read next?
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