UK YouTube celebrities and authors, Alfie Deyes and Zoe Sugg are expecting their first baby and dad-to-be Alfie has just spilt the beans on how he found the first trimester of their pregnancy as a newly minted dad-to-be.
The recently uploaded video titled My First Trimester Experience is ripe for viewing and it’s an absolute inside scoop of what to expect for soon-to-be dads and what can feel like carefully treading on eggshells during early pregnancy.
You can watch Alfies full chat below – it really is a good watch, particularly if you don’t know what to expect in your partner’s first trimester! Alternatively, keep on reading where we pull the best bits out for you!
Where’s the pregnancy info for partners at?
Tired of not being able to find any information on what he should expect from the first trimester, the popular vlogger has put together his own thoughts and advice in a YouTube video. Regardless if you know of Alfie or not, the content is super valuable and a must-see for any parents to be.
“To know what it is like to go through the first trimester because it is the most wild, exciting… just unbelievable period of time… However there is hardly anything – and I literally mean – hardly anything – online that is from the partner’s perspective.”
Tips for partners on the first trimester of pregnancy
1. Tag, you’re it, hello number one support person!
It’s important to realise you are the support system and the support network for the person who is pregnant in your life. Scary isn’t it? Alfie says of his video and who it’s aimed at:
“You could be the boyfriend of a pregnant woman, the husband, the wife of a pregnant woman, the girlfriend of the pregnant woman, the best friend and you are the closest, most supportive person in their life. You could be a parent – whoever you are, this video is for you.”
2. Firstly, Congratulations!
Suddenly pregnant with your partner? Congratulations! It’s a GOOD thing, you lucky people!
“Getting pregnant isn’t ALWAYS as easy as people make it out to be. For some people getting pregnant is something that they are not able to do. For a lot of people, it takes years of trying and using different techniques and methods. For some, it DOES happen very quickly and they are incredibly lucky. However you got there, congratulations, it’s AMAZING that you are pregnant and please know you are incredibly fortunate.”
3. Trying to get pregnant is sometimes not so fun. There, I said it.
Generally speaking, when you’re young and child-free (or not young, or not child-free, whatever the case may be) having sex is a fun thing to do. Your partner might be keen to have sex every single night of the week which is AMAZING, right? Yes, but it’s also kind of like sport and she wants to WIN. That’s trying to conceive for you.
“Sex is fun. Having sex with the aim of trying to conceive is not so fun. You’re very aware that there is a goal in mind, making sex a little less fun.”
4. Taking the pregnancy test
What Alfie says is spot on in his video. Taking a pregnancy test is SCARY. No matter how much you want to be pregnant, finding out for sure if you’re going to be parents is equally mind-blowing and nauseating.
“I feel like I aged years… every time we took a test. The two or three minutes every time it took the test to do its thing, it felt like time froze. I was very aware that if it does come back positive, my life has changed forever. My life forever, in that moment, has changed. Bloody terrifying.”
5. You won’t know what to do
You and your pregnant partner are hovering over a positive pregnancy test and now you don’t know what to do. Do you call your GP, call your Mum, your sister? Like WHAT DO WE DO NOW. Can she have hot baths, eat cheese, use skincare?
“Do I ring the doctor and say we’re kind of pregnant, do I need to tell you that?”
It’s TOTALLY OK to not know what to do, but for the record, ring your GP and organise an appointment to confirm your home test is a good start!
6. Get involved and do some research with your partner
However you like to get your info – Google, YouTube, books… read up about pregnancy and be engaged with what’s happening to your partner’s body. But DO always ask your doctor for the facts about what’s actually going on. Especially if it’s health advice you seek.
7. Be a beacon of positivity for your partner
Early pregnancy is ridiculously taxing on a woman’s body. They’re a new kind of tired they’ve never felt before, they’re nauseous a lot of the time and also often physically sick. So while I see what Alfie is saying about spreading positivity, rainbows and glitter – I’m just going to say be careful… toxic positivity is a thing, you know.
“I kept reminding Zoe at all times that some of the symptoms that come with pregnancy might feel similar to being ill and you might feel like you’re unwell, but they are symptoms of something that is SO amazing and so good.”
8. You might be weirdly nervous to tell your mates your news
You might be unexpectedly nervous or scared about telling people your good news. It makes it very real and hello #adulting. You don’t have to have an extravagant announcement as you might see all over Instagram. You can pick up the phone, jump on Facetime or tell your folks in person. There’s no need for add pressure to create something spectacular (unless you really want to).
“Don’t worry if you are incredibly nervous to tell people… I was sh*tting myself”.
9. Prepare to do ALL the things
Prepare to run solo for a while. Hormones have ravaged your pregnant partner’s body physically and mentally and it’s A LOT.
“Be prepared to do anything at any given time with no notice and that’s just how it is.”
Alfie says “this one is so bloody important – as you are the support system for the pregnant woman a lot of things are going to fall on you”. The cooking of the most random things, the child minding, the looking after pets – consider your pregnant partner down and out for the first trimester at least.
”You’ve got to make yourself more available … you’ve REALLY got to be there for that person”.
Pregnancy comes with making some sacrifices to free up time and availability. Your partner needs you and you need to be there for her. Remember, your partner is growing a HUMAN PERSON.
10. Sex in the first trimester
Ironically, after months of around-the-clock sex trying to conceive, it DOES come to a crashing halt when you’re finally pregnant.
“Sex in the first trimester. What even is that? There is no such thing”.
Preach it, Alfie. Correct, don’t worry, the sex life will restore itself later on.
11. Speak positively of the future
Your partner is not feeling herself for three months. She’s feeling completely crap and completely depleted. It’s frustrating for her because there’s no telling when she’ll feel like her old self again. Gently (and emphasis on gently) remind your pregnant spouse it won’t always feel like this and soon enough, that sweet baby will be here!
“I’d say to Zoe, in two months time, you’re going to be feeling amazing, you’re going to have a cute bump, you’re going to have your energy back, we’ll have scans etc, exciting times!”
You just need to remind them there IS light at the end of the tunnel and it WILL get better!
12. The woman you know and fell in love with will return to their normal selves
This isn’t Alfie’s advice, this is my husband’s. Whenever we learn of friends having a baby, my husband is the first to take the partner aside and reassure him that once the hormones settle in and settle down – or at the very latest once the baby is born – the woman you know and fell in love with does come back. You just have to hang in there with the hormone-induced personality craziness in the meantime. But what a ride!