Soccer mum, crunchy mum, helicopter mum. Sooooo 2015. There’s a new crew of stereotypical mums out there and we cannot wait to introduce you to them. You’ll find these new types of mums sharing their stories, their creations and their kids’ achievements on, you guessed it, social media.
Yep, these mums go above and beyond the occasional selfie with the kids and meme share. These mums are the masters of camera filters and Insta-influencing, one tweet at a time.
Oh, and remember, this is just a bit of fun so don’t go all Carol on us. No social media influencers were harmed in the making of this post. Except anyone named Brenda.
The 10 social media mums
[mc_block_title custom_title=”1. Crafty wizard mum”]
What sorcery is this? Crafty wizard mum quite possibly holds a doctrine in glue gun theory. She showcases her sorcery on social media (of course), but also at as many school functions as possible as well as – Bookweek, Easter Bonnet Parades, Halloween.
She also assures you her creations are super easy to do. She’s lying. NOTHING that involves glue guns, sewing, and making children sit still to take measurements is easy. NOTHING.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”2. Contact crime mum”]
Contact crime mum truly believes that vinyl contact is the greatest invention since baby wipes. She devotes a ridiculous amount of time to covering random areas in her house with the stuff (ironically, not her kids’ book though).
No, Brenda, I don’t think your laundry tiles need palm frond contact applied to them.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”3. Baking goddess mum”]
Hello… amazing looking lunches, baked goods, and dinners, all perfectly staged for social, naturally.
Nevermind me over here on the other side of the screen, busy baking my kids a chocolate cake that looks like a pan of sasquatch faeces.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”4. Display home mum”]
Display home mum is literally living in a display home on steroids. She LOVES homewares, especially if they are from Kmart and IKEA.
Pretty sure she doesn’t actually have any kids. Not ones who like Sharpie pens and crumbly snacks anyway.
Does have an abundance of throw pillows though. And indoor plants.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”5. Oil mum”]
#Oilsforlife. Oil mum can cure anything and everything with her essential oils. Reminds you of this every day by posting about how her essential oil collection has changed her life.
Also, she’s got a “refer a friend” code if you’re interested.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”6. I’ll send you the link mum”]
Looking for advice? No? Oh, well, “I’ll send you the link” mum will hand it to you anyway. She knows everything about everything, especially if it involves medical advice.
Actually, she doesn’t, but she can send you a link to a study that explains it. Will most likely do it through a direct message and then check in with you three days later to see if you’ve read it.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”7. Help me mum”]
Help me mum is looking for recommendations. For EVERYTHING. The best foot doctor, the best Malaysian takeaway in her suburb, the best swim school and the best tennis instructor.
Also, someone who does lash extensions.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”8. Blessed bloggy mum”]
Of course, blessed mum blogged her home birth journey and overuses hashtag blessed. That’s a given. But did you know she also started a blog about recipes that contain only breastmilk, placenta or coconut oil?
She also doesn’t believe in gender pronouns so expect a lot of “they” references. Pretty sure she has three gorgeous little boys. Could be wrong though.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”9. Competi-mum”]
Competi-mum is the new tiger mum. She uses social media as a virtual trophy cabinet to showcase her children’s latest medals and certificates in Jujitsu and roller derby.
She has very high-achieving kids. That, or she owns a trophy factory.
[mc_block_title custom_title=”10. Buy my shit mum”]
Buy my shit is done with all the baby crap in her house. She attempts to sell every item through Facebook Marketplace but is confused as to why no one wants her in good, used condition 10-year-old baby capsule for $320.
She will even throw in a crusty old pram liner AND a used mattress protector.
I mean, it’s a bargain.
So, ladies, how many of these lovely ladies have you encountered on social media? Which one, if any, are you?
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