Remember when people were obsessed with putting jade eggs into their vaginas? We have Gwyneth Paltrow to thank for that interesting trend, who claimed placing a gemstone into your ya-ya would increase sexual energy and pleasure. Thanks, but no thanks Gwenny.
Well, ladies, we are here to share that there’s a new random item women are sticking up their vaginas – a cigar-shaped contraption known as a “madura stick”. Nope. Not making this up. Wish I was but, this is actually happening, folks. And I’m pretty sure vaginas around the world are collectively screaming “NOOOOOOO.”
The mystical powers of the madura stick
What is this stick, you ask? Do you find in it a forest? Or do you purchase these cigar-like things at a store? It’s the latter, thank god. We stumbled across quite a few on eBay and Amazon including this one below with the tantalising description “Instant Virgin Tighten Clean Vagina”. I mean, what more could you possibly want in a vagina? And for the bargain price of $24.99 too!
Apparently these sticks have been part of the vaginal-hygiene practices in Indonesia for quite some time. After washing, shaving, and plucking, they finish the beauty regime with a stick in the vagina. No biggie.
They look like something you would smoke, but, nope, they are designed for insertion. Insert, leave it in place for two to three minutes, remove it, wash it and let it air dry for future use. The sticks are made from ground herbs and plants and have magical powers to revitalise the vagina.
And that’s not all. They are also designed to tighten and dry out the vagina.
Dry out? Um, what?? Yes, ladies, according to Indonesian customs, too much discharge is bad. A dry, tight vagina is where it’s at. Nevermind the fact that discharge is normal and the added moisture is what makes sex pleasurable.
Step away from the stick
As you can expect, doctors have weighed in on the cigar-insertion phenomena, begging women to steer clear of these vagina sticks.
They are not effective and they are medically harmful. According to Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB-GYN and the author of “The Vagina Bible”, sticking random objects, whether stick-shaped or egg-shaped, up your ya-ya can lead to infection and irritation.
The bottom line? Vagina sticks are out. But what about this scented vagina candle? Or perhaps this vagina beer is more to your liking? We’ve also uncovered a few other vagina trends to ruin your day like these vagina nails and vagina glitter. You’re welcome.