Yes, you read that right. A vagina scented candle. Well looky here, isn’t this awkward?

A girlfriend and I often exchange candle gifts because we both love jars of expensive, triple-fragrance, fancy pants wax. But a vagina scented candle? Erm. *cough*

I’m no prude but  I’m not convinced I want my guests to enter my front door and be whacked in the face with the scent of downstairs. If you get my drift.

Wait, what? Is it an ACTUAL vagina scented candle?

Apparently yes, yes it is.

vagina scented candle
Very bougie. Photo: Goop

This girl is on fire

Gwyneth Paltrow can do no wrong. Her Goop online store has launched a This Smells Like My Vagina Candle, retailing at an eye-watering US$75. That’s around $109 Australian dollars for those playing at home. Despite the hefty price tag, it appears to have people tickled pink, the vagina scented candle selling out at a somewhat climatic speed. #notweird

Gwyneth Paltrow
We’d be as smug as Gwyneth if we sold out of a vagina scented candle too. Photo: Facebook/Goop

So what does Gwyneth’s vagina scented candle smell like?

I know it’s the number one burning question you’re all wanting to know… what does a vagina scented candle smell like exactly? And let me be the first to tell you that according to its rather rosy Goop store product description, it’s not going to make you blush. And there’s no mention of a UTI or thrush so we can all be thankful for that.

With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.

Now call me crazy, but I’ve never heard anyone explain the scent of their vagina as something with ambrette seed and most definitely not a sophisticated warmth.

Bridesmaids movie came close with Melissa McCarthy referring to her lady garden as “a steamy undercarriage” which firstly, caused raucous laughter and secondly, is somewhat more relatable because #Australiansummer. But whatever, Gwyneth, you do you Boo.

vagina scented candle
Photo: Goop

Burn with caution

So without further ado, if you have some cash to burn and enjoy a tongue-in-cheek laugh, then the This Smells Like My Vagina Candle hits the brief. Literally.

Like I said earlier though, prepare for any guests to think you’ve had a very active day / romantic weekend / you fill in the gaps as the musky candle scent wafts through the rooms. Noice. Let the good times roll.

But wait, there’s more

But wait, there’s more good news though for all you curious cats! If you want to be among the first to be notified of the next drop of This Smells Like My Vagina Candle, you can add your name to the waiting list and keep an eagle eye on your inbox. Let’s all silently hope there’s no male counterpart candle to come,  though frankly, the mind boggles at the possibilities. Eww. #stillnotaprude


With the vagina scented candle back in the box, we’re not done with all this talk of vaginas. Be sure to check out this post on 10 weird vagina trends and of course, if you’re up for some real-chat, Viva La Vagina is a worthy read.

Author

South Australian mum and self proclaimed foodie, Lexi can most days be found in the kitchen, apron tied firm and armed with a whisk or wooden spoon!

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