Ask a bunch of kids what their fave animal is and 9/10 will probably say a unicorn. What’s not to love about them? They can fly, they have a multi-coloured mane and they live in a mystical land.

Plus, if you happen to buy one of these magical toy unicorns from Kmart, it also comes with an extra-large horn. And not just a regular horn either but one that is clearly a big ol’ magical penis pointing out of its forehead like a proud soldier.

At ease, boy.

It doesn’t get any more phallic than this. And we are actually dying of laughter. Check him out in all his proud peen glory.

kmart xrated horse toy
The magical Horny Unicorn ready for action
Source: Facebook

A stiff steed indeed

Kmart has been in a bit of hot water when it comes to X-rated toys lately. Last month they released a Frozen 2 Secret Diary that contained a weird sex-like Cluedo game in the middle of it. It was hilarious, to say the least.

Anyhow, this month they’ve done it again with their X-rated dildo-unicorn who is clearly riding to pleasure town with his horny addition. Mum Ashleigh discovered the unicorn in her daughter’s Dream Winter Castle Set and shared her find on popular Facebook page Kmart Hacks and Decor. 

Every Winter Castle needs a stiff steed guarding the gates. Source: Facebook

“Mmkay Kmart,” wrote Ashleigh. “Subliminal messages or the guys at the castle making factory were high … 2020 unicorn horn?”

Definitely NOT a feather 

So, clearly it’s a penis or a dildo or some sort of phallic symbol, right? I mean, look at it. But some of the mums on the page suggested it could be a feather and our horny unicorn could, in fact, be a regular horse with a feather coming out of his head.

Yeah, nah.

As one mum commented, “In what world does this look like a feather?”

Another joked, “People! This species is none other than the Biggus-D***us White Horse, originating from the Isle of Stiffrod.”

We prefer to call it the way we see it and that, my friends, is a miniature, magical unicorn with a big ol’ dildo horn. End. Of. Story.

Kmart has yet to comment on their stiff steed x-rated figurine but we cannot wait until they do! We love a good shopping fail and this one is certainly hard to beat.

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Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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