Dear baby.

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT. 

Love, Mum.

40 weeks is a long time to house a tiny human. And when that 40 weeks is up, well, most mums are pretty keen to send baby their official eviction notice.

But what happens if baby won’t budge? It’s a pretty common problem and one that can drive you to the brink of insanity. Every niggle that is not a contraction, every text asking if “you’ve had bub yet” and every morning you wake up still pregnant and in desperate need to pee can leave you feeling deflated, frustrated and angry.

Seriously baby, what’s the hold up here?

overdue baby eviction notice
Image via: Funny joke pictures

To get things moving you can try a number of different techniques, none of which are actually 100% guaranteed to do anything. But they just might. So you might as well try, right?

1. Eat a sh*t load of pineapples

Apparently pineapple can help bring on labour. It contains the enzyme bromelain, which is thought to help soften your cervix. But, pineapples don’t contain a lot, so you’re gonna need to eat heaps of pineapple to feel any effect.

Eight pineapples might give you a little niggle. Or it might send you waddling to the toilet with pineapple poo pains.

2. Get out the breast pump

Give it a bit of a spin before bub comes. The action can stimulate your nipples and release oxytoxin, which can bring on labour. Your partner can do the dirty work too.

3. Do a bunch of squats

Which aren’t really squats at all, because, well, you’re pregnant #AF and squatting is impossible. But attempt a few, which is meant to help put bub into the right position.

4. Dance

It’s worked for a few different mums in the past. Make sure you also make a super awkward video doing it. It just might go viral!

‼️ Warning: this may hurt your eyes! 🙈😆 – Another attempt at getting baby out! I call this the “Bikini Baby Belly Boogie” 😂 – This takes belly dancing to a WHOLE new level right?! 😝 . This poor little girl has a nut bag as a mother, no wonder she doesn’t want to get out! 😂🙈 . C’MON baby girl don’t be shy!! Sure, I’m as crazy as they come but I promise I’ll love you as much as the universe and there will NEVER be a dull moment with @recdedmond and me as parents! 👍🏼🤪 . P.S. I’m more than happy to give dance lessons to ALLLLL who are interested in learning MAAA MOOOOVES! 😁💃🏼 . #cantdance #swollenmama #poorbaby #nuttymama #getoutbaby #40weekspregnant #9monthspregnant

A post shared by E M I L Y S K Y E (@emilyskyefit) on

5. Make plans

Do your nails. And your hair. Put on makeup even. Because as soon as you have plans, baby will decide to come.

6. Try some tea

Drinking Red Raspberry Leaf Tea is another method that the Internet claims can help induce labour. If nothing else, sitting down with a hot cup of tea might help calm your nerves and let you relax.

7. Hop on your husband

Sex is known to stimulate labour. Even if he doesn’t ‘feel like it’, he doesn’t really get a choice at this stage.

Sorry, husband. You put a baby in me. Now you help get that baby out.

8. Wash and put on fresh clean bed sheets

Preferably also new. That might ensure that your waters will break ALL OVER THEM.

9. Eat this pizza

Known as The Inducer, this buffalo-wing flavoured pizza is famous for sending expecting mums into labour.

Induce labour pizza

You have to fly to New York to Hawthorne’s Pizza…which probably isn’t a good idea when you’re 40+ weeks pregnant. But you could always try making the cheesy goodness yourself.

10. Or try eggplant parmigiana

Another dish you could try is eggplant parmigiana, which has also been known to send mums to the delivery ward. A restaurant in Georgia claims their famous dish has been responsible for hundreds of mums going into labour shortly after eating it. induce labour with eggplant bake

It is the eggplant? Or the Parmesan cheese? Perhaps it the basil and oregano? Whatever the case, if you’re sending hubby to the shops to pick up some buffalo sauce and pineapple, you might as well add eggplant to the list as well.

Whatever works for you, we wish you all the best on your labour-inducing journey. What’s next? Have a look at the 101 crazy thoughts mums have when labour hits.

 

Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe, including her son, daughter, cat, dog and partner. When she's not writing, you can find her lounging by the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach or nagging her kids to put on their pants.

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