Once upon a time, I used to be fun. I used to be cool. And I used to go out past 8pm.
But since becoming a mum, the desire to be part of the party has faded. What has taken its place? The desire to stay home, to put on a Pixar movie, to bring out the big box of LEGO and to hang out with my kids.
I know. I sound as much fun as a wet sponge right now. The truth is, I do enjoy an occasional night out, a big birthday celebration or even a weekend away… once in a while. But often I find myself saying “no” to invitations that don’t involve the kids. And most of the time, the reason is simply, because I would much rather stay home with them.
Big night in
Why have I turned into the social equivalent of the Grinch? Well, first of all, going out after a day of regular routine is pretty insane. It’s basically non-stop from 7am to 7pm with meal preps, school drop-offs and pick-ups, housework, work work, homework, play-time, after-school activities and pre-bedtime plans.
Going out means I need to add another thing to the list. Sure, it means I may enjoy a meal out, but usually I still have a meal to make (and clean up from) at home.
It also means I miss out on my favourite part to the day – the wind-down. You know, that time after dinner, when everyone is clean and calm? This is by far, for me, the best part of being a mum. Whether we’re watching a movie or colouring in or playing a game, or simply doing our own things, this is our relaxation time.
And it doesn’t require me to have to put on jeans or makeup. Or take a taxi anywhere.
Family fun trumps all
Second of all, going out without my kids means I will miss them. As lame as this sounds, my kids are my best friends – they make me laugh, they cheer me up, they are the ones I want by my side.
They are at that age where they still want to hang out with me (and not their friends just yet), and I’m going to lap it up while I still can. They still want me to tuck them in at night. They still need me to help them out of the bath. And, as long as they want and need me, I will do my best to be there for them, every single night.
Which brings me to my final reason why I’ve turned into a loser mum who doesn’t like to go out… because, I am most comfortable here. Chilling out at home. With the kids. Taking turns chipping golf balls into the pool. Dressing dolls in various ball gowns. Riding our bikes around the neighbourhood. Cooking a BBQ in the backyard.
Sure, there’s only four of us. It’s not much of a party. But, it’s enough.
Don’t get me wrong. There are times when my kids drive me insane. They aren’t too great at listening to me vent about life. And they can’t down a bottle of wine with me. But my partner is pretty good at both of those things!
It’s okay to say no
So, to all the mums who feel like they are constantly shutting down invitations to go out and slowly turning into losers, know that you’re not alone. And you’re not a loser. You’re just a mum who happens to like spending time with her kids.
Cherish the time you have with them. And stop feeling guilty for saying no. You simply have somewhere more important to be. That somewhere just so happens to be at home.
Take another look at our article about the 12 things mums can’t live without for a serve of more mum truths,