There are traditional tartan Christmas PJs. And then there’s Rihanna’s new line of PJs.

From the front, they look innocent enough. Comfortable, cozy tartan-style jimjams with a sassy vibe. But, of course, this is Rihanna we’re talking about and Rihanna doesn’t do anything half-assed.

Source: Savage x

Oh, wait…

via GIPHY

 

The Savage x Fenty collection features a bra, pajama shorts, shirt and pants in two different colour schemes.

Now I know most of us won’t be rocking a matching bra and fitted shirt to bed but, hey, Rihanna has that ability to make us all think, Hey, maybe we DO need to be wearing fancy flared PJs to bed. And to pair them with heels and a belly chain. 

Shine bright like a diamond indeed. Source: Savage x

But the best bit about the range? The ass-less pants, of course. Officially known as the Tied Up Tartan Open-Back PJ Pant, they can be yours for just $74 AUD.

Oh. Hello there. Source: Savage x

You see, these PJs may be modest from the front, but it’s all party in the back as your butt shines on through.

Full moon party every night. Thanks Rihanna. It’s what we all needed in our lives.

Rihanna Christmas PJS
Hey RiRi, we can see your fifi. Source: Instagram

RiRi, where’s the rest of my pants?  

Now I’m NEVER one to question RiRi’s style. She can pull ANYTHING off, including these back-door beauties. We expect her new line to sell out quicker than you can say “ass-less jimjams”.

Source: Savage x

But we’re still unsure of the logic here. Perhaps the exposed butt hole is to let the breeze in and reduce ass-sweating through the night? Quick access if you’ve got an itchy butthole? Or easy entry for spoon sex perhaps?

Christmas Pjs Rihanna
Source: Savage x

Merry Christmas – here’s my ham 

I mean, I’m sure there are no ends to photo opps with these come Christmas morning, and hey, if you’ve got the assets, then why wouldn’t you want a pair of pajamas that let it all hang out?

But I’m also pretty sure if I rocked up on Christmas morning with my full moon on display, my children would probably be howling for me to put on a proper pair of PJs.

Mum’s butt is out. Christmas is officially cancelled. Children are officially scarred.

What in the boneless roast is that? 

Of course, this isn’t the first extra AF farshun item we’ve come across lately. Feast your eyes on this Bras ‘n Things lingerie set that makes you look like a rolled roast. Hollywood Glam or Christmas Ham? This is a lingerie getup not for the faint of heart – and the internet LOVED it.

The Hollywood ham Glam set – complete with earrings. AS YOU DO. Source: Facebook

Then there was that time Fendi debuted their $1,300 scarf that they called “The Touch of Fur Shawl” but we ALL know that’s a bit ol’ vulva wrapped around your neck. And, of course, the hairy vag scarf sold out online.

Fendi Vulva Scarf

Guys, we’re not done with our parade of “what even is this?” fashion just yet. Allow us to introduce you to the barely-there bikini from last year – the free-range flappers that brought bucketloads of cheeky comments to our lives.

beginning-boutique fi
“Sweet lord, this would make my vagina look like a hedgehog stuck under a floorboard.”

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Author

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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