What does an orgasm even smell like? Gwyneth has the answer. And it involves gunpowder…
Gwyneth Paltrow is an amazing lady. She’s a great actress, seems like a pretty chilled out mum, and runs a super successful business – goop.
It’s through goop that Gwynny can really let her inner goddess out, often in the form of weird vagina-themed products that people cannot get enough of.
Case in point. Her bestselling Jade eggs, which you insert up your ya-ya and are meant to “harness the power of energy work, crystal healing, and a Kegel-like physical practice”.
Another classic example: Her vagina smelling candle which smells like a “funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent”.
It’s made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.
Gwyneth does it again
Well, ladies, it’s time to light another candle in honour of our vaginas – this time one that smells like an orgasm. And not just anyone’s orgasm, but MY orgasm. Which, we’re assuming, means Gwyneth’s smell.
What does that even mean?
Good question. How can one bottle up the smell of an orgasm and then make it into a candle? What actually went on during this process?
Gwynny isn’t revealing her secrets but she has informed all the eager beavers out there (pun intended) that the scent is “sexy, surprising and wildly addictive”.
According to the goop website, the orgasm candle is
Made with tart grapefruit, neroli, and ripe cassis berries blended with gunpowder tea and Turkish rose absolutes”.
Grapefruit and gunpowder.
Well then. I mean, if you had to bottle up the smell of an orgasm, I suppose both are appropriate … and, of course the packaging has fireworks on it.
Because #subtleness isn’t a thing on goop. Case in point: Here’s the woman of the hour posing in front of her “goop lab” which clearly looks like a massive vagina made of flowers.
Breathe it all in for $75 USD
Now, onto the next question. Can you really put a price on an Oscar-winning actress’s orgasmic smell?
Yes, you certainly can. And for just $75 USD. Pocket change, right? But, you’ll have to fly over to America to pick it up as Gwynny doesn’t ship her scent to us folk down under.
It’s expected that, like the vagina candle, the orgasm candle will sell out quickly. After all, candles are a great gift idea. And Gwen’s orgasm is clearly a gift that keeps on giving.