Oh Goody. Sperm Face Masks Are a Thing Now.

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The secret to a youthful, wrinkle-free face? Turn to your men, ladies!

Their semen, we mean.

Yes, as weird as this sounds, sperm is literally the creme de la creme when it comes to face care. We’ll just let that thought sink in for a moment…

Experts agree that sperm is the new super-food for your face

There are some crazy beauty trends out there. Like that time when everyone was wearing penis-shaped jewellery and painting their fingernails with vaginas...

Well, now sperm is getting #alltheglory as the must-try trend for smoother, younger-looking skin. After all, it’s free, readily available and all natural.

Take that Vitamin E

According to celebrity facialist, Chelsee Lewis, many celebs are now taking to rubbing sperm on their face. Whose sperm, we don’t know. But, hey, if the stars are doing it…

Chelsee explains that semen is actually loaded with heaps of goodness known as spermine. Apparently, sperm offers a whole bunch of complexion-perfecting benefits.

  • It enhances oxygen supply and aids blood circulation in the facial tissue
  • Reduces wrinkles, smooths the skin and lessens acne and spots
  • Brings about a ‘healthier’ skin appearance
  • Can slow down the effects of ageing on your skin

DIY sperm face mask

Ready to give it a go? Here’s how you can make your very own sperm face mask:

  • Collect the sperm (We’ll let you use your imagination on how to do this)
  • Rub the semen onto your freshly-cleaned face (No, we’re not joking! Although we sort of wish we were.)
  • Leave it on for 20 minutes, so that it’s completely absorbed by the skin
  • Wash it off by dabbing your face with cold water and wiping it with tissue

So there you go. Now your hubby can blow. And you can glow…. #facepalm.

More DIY face masks that don’t involve your husband’s spunk 

Of course, sperm isn’t the only option you have in your quest for youthful skin. If you can’t quite stomach the thought of semen on your face (Don’t worry, I doubt you’re alone!), then try:

  • Banana and natural honey mashed into a paste and smeared on your face
  • 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar with 2 cups water, left to dry on your face
  • Water and oatmeal, combined with yoghurt, honey, and a small egg white

two women on sofa wearing face masks with wine in their hand | mum's night off

Chelsee has a few other sperm-free methods to make yourself look more beautiful. And no need to lather your face in pantry ingredients either!

  • Put a teaspoon of coconut oil in your mouth in the morning. Swirl it around for 15-20 minutes to tighten facial muscles, give you pearly white teeth and clear out the impurities in the skin.
  • In the morning, wash your face with super cold water by combining ice and water and splashing it around your face 15-20 times. Instant botox!

What to read next 

Honestly, what will they think of next? If you love crazy trends we’ve got a few more fun ones to roll your eyes over. Check out:

Don’t say we didn’t warn you, though!

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Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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