16 of our Fave Kmart Fails, Wins and Hacks Ever

Kmart continues to impress and delight us month after month. They continuously bring out the goods in toys, homewares, outdoor play, clothing even and, thanks to the countless clever Kmart mums on the interwebs, we have discovered so many amazing hacks and ideas on using popular Kmart items.

So we figured we would bring all of our fave Kmart stories together, in one basket, for your shopping pleasure. And, of course, we couldn’t help but also share some of our fave Kmart fails too – because even Kmart accidentally drops the occasional item that looks like a penis…

So, without further ado, let’s pay homage to one of our favourite stores with a round-up of the very best Kmart fails, wins and hacks.

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Let’s start the fun with some of our favourite Kmart fails. These inappropriate products had us laughing out loud.

1. That time Kmart sold a horse with a big horned peen

Yes, ladies and gents. That is a giant dildo on a horse figurine. It was part of the Dream Winter Castle package sold at Kmart last year. A mum discovered the interesting horn and promptly shared on Facebook for a laugh.

So magical!

kmart unicorn x-rated toy shopping fail

2. Kmart’s contraceptive face sculpture 

It’s meant to be a decorative face to add a little pizazz to your living area but all we see is the shape of a Mirena IUD! It’s said that art is subjective and if you don’t see it yourself, well, ok. I’m just saying that if you’re buying your gynaecologist a gift, this could be a great paperweight for their office.

Kmart textured face sculpture

3. This sex-ed book which caused quite a stir

The question of how babies are made is always a tricky one. Do you go with the Stork lie or tell it how it is? This book opted for the latter with a very detailed version of how babies are made and how they arrive earthside. We cannot unsee this!

how babies are made book

4. Elsa’s dirty little diary

This Kmart fail had us cracking up! Inside a Frozen-themed diary lies a very dirty little secret – a dirty version of Cluedo. There’s a list of sex positions, sex toys, and locations. We’re talking vibrators, anal beads, furry plugs, even a double dong.

Oh dear. Anna and Kristoff, what have you been up to???

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It’s not ALL bad! Over the years Kmart has also launched some pretty epic items that people are loving. The Kmart Beach Trolley, for example, is still a huge success every season. Here are a few more of our fave finds from Kmart.

5. Charlie Doll

Last year Kmart made a big step in the right direction when they launched their popular Baby Charlie with Down Syndrome doll. 

It comes in both a girl and a boy option and retails for $15. Each doll comes with a soft body to cuddle, a cute little outfit and soft hair to comb.

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6. Disability representation dolls 

Charlie isn’t the first inclusive doll to grace the Kmart shelves.

Kmart also released a line of dolls with disabilities or impairments, including one doll in a wheelchair, one with vision impairment, and one with a hearing impairment

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7. A wine handbag 

Walking and wining is a thing thanks to Kmart’s Wine Carrier with Drink Dispenser (don’t you just love Kmart’s upfront product naming?).

It will set you back $25 and comes with a wine dispenser, plus a cool storage area for your wine, cheese, and other goodies. Bargain!


Kmart wine handbag

8. The ever-so-versatile DIY Letterboard

There’s a lot to love about this popular product which serves its purpose in SOO many ways.

It’s an easy gift for hard-to-shop-for tweens and teens.

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A cute milestone tracker.

baby milestone photo idea using Kmart letter board

An easy Mother’s Day gift for Grandma.

mothers day kmart letter board hack

And a festive Christmas decoration.

christmas kmart hacks letter board

9. Farshun for a fraction

Okay, so a lot of Kmart’s clothes are cheap crap. But not ALL of them. Some of their clothing is actually pretty decent quality, comfortable and trendy too. Don’t believe us? Check out this Instagrammer who manages to steal celeb looks, swapping designer duds for Kmart finds. 

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10. This dancing fish toy

Next we have this cheeky way to “pat” your baby to sleep using a Kmart cat toy. It’s a slapping fish and, yes, we know it’s not exactly an approved way to put a newborn to sleep, but, hey, if it works!

Keep in mind that mum and dad are watching bub the whole time.

dancing fish toy kmart

11. Sausage roll maker and pie maker

Moving to kitchen appliances, there are two items that we literally cannot live without. The Kmart sausage roll maker and the Kmart pie maker. Both were incredibly tricky to track down last year but we got them, and we have made a feast and a half since!

Check out our fave sausage roll recipes 

Kmart Sausage Roll Maker

And pie maker recipes.

pie maker cheesecake brownies

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Moving on to hacks, where clever parents take an ordinary Kmart product and transform it into something AMAZING. These are DIY dreams right here.

12. The Kmart cubby house hack

By far the most popular Kmart item in the history of ever is their $199 Kmart cubby house. It all started when parents started painting and pimping the cubby house.

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Before long people discovered they could place TWO beside each other and create a massive cubby house for just $400.

And, of course, other cool ideas followed suit.

Like this cubby house reading nook.

Kmart Cubby House hack

And this pet palace.

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Plus this mini city. 

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Cubby house goals.

13. A $1.50 tea towel

The simple Kmart tea towel is also proving to be a pretty hot find, for wrapping presents and even for wearing. Check out this mum’s amazing tea towel dress!

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14. The vanity kit

This adorable role playset is pretty cool on its own. But these parents took the Kmart vanity table to the next level by adding their own personal details. The doctor one is by far our fave!

kmart hacks vanity table makeover

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15. Dolled up dollhouse

Kmart sells a range of dollhouses but check out how one mum redecorated the wooden dollhouse into a modern beach house.

Doesn’t it look like a miniature Kmart homewares display??

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16. Nursery wardrobe

Our final product hack that wins ALL the praise is the $20 nursery wardrobe, designed to store your baby’s itty bitty outfits. It’s cute on its own, but check out what these design Queens did with it. So pretty!

Image via Love Ellie

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We’re not finished yet! Check out a few more cool Kmart hacks for all your things, from kids’ toys to school storage.

Avatar of Jenna Galley

Born and raised in Canada, Jenna now lives in Far North Queensland with her tribe. When the mum-of-three is not writing, you can find her floating in the pool, watching princess movies, frolicking on the beach, bouncing her baby to sleep or nagging her older kids to put on their pants.

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